Walter Stratford: Hello, Katarina. Make anybody cry today?
Kat Stratford: Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30.

Cameron: I burn, I pine, I perish.
Michael: Of course you do.

Joey: Mr. Morgan, is there any way we can get Kat to take her Midol *before* she comes to class?

Michael: Sweet love, renew thy force.
Patrick: Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you.

Chastity: I know you can be underwhelmed, and you can be overwhelmed, but can you ever just be, like, whelmed?
Bianca: I think you can in Europe.

Bianca: Are you asking me out? That's so cute. What's your name again?

Walter Stratford: I'm down, I've got the 411, and you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy, I don't care how dope his ride is. My mama didn't rasie no foo'!

Bianca: You don't buy black underwear unless you want somebody to see it.

Kat Stratford: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic, misogynist who sqaundered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.

Kat Stratford: You're not as vile as I thought you were.

Patrick: Why is everyone so hot for this girl? Has she got beer-flavored nipples?

Bianca: There's a difference between like and love. I mean I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That's because you don't have a Prada backpack.

Kat Stratford: Remove head from sphincter, then drive!

Kat Stratford: I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Michael: I have a dick on my face, don't I?

Michael: The shit hath hitith the fan... ith.

Cameron: I learned French for you!

Kat Stratford: I still maintain he kicked himself in the balls.

Walter Stratford: Where is she going?
Kat Stratford: She's meeting bikers. Big ones. Full of sperm.
Walter Stratford: Funny.

Walter Stratford: Where do you think you're going?
Bianca: Well, if you must know... a small study group with friends.
Walter Stratford: Better known as an orgy?
Chastity: It's only a party, Mr. Stratford.
Walter Stratford: And hell is only a sauna.

Patrick: I know you've thought about me naked.
Kat Stratford: Am I that transparent
[sarcastic]
Kat Stratford: I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.

Patrick: Don't get your panties in a twist
Kat Stratford: Don't think for one minute that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties.
Patrick: Well then, what did I have an effect on?
Kat Stratford: Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing.

Kat Stratford: Hemingway was an abusive alcoholic who squandered his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.

Ms. Perky: People perceive you as somewhat...
Kat Stratford: Tempestuous?
Ms. Perky: "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.

Kat Stratford: You don't always have to be what they want you to be.
Bianca: I happen to like being adored, thank you!

Kat Stratford: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.

Bianca: Where do you come from? Planet "Loser"?
Kat Stratford: What, as opposed to Planet "Look At Me, Look At Me"?

Joey: Hey is your sister around?
Kat Stratford: Stay away from my sister.
Joey: Oh, I'll stay away from her, but I can't guarantee that she'll stay away from me.

Walter Stratford: I delivered a set of twins to a fifteen-year-old girl today, and you know what she said to me?
Bianca: "I'm a crack-whore who should have made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom"?
Walter Stratford: Close, she said "I should have listened to my father."
Bianca: She did not.
Walter Stratford: Well, that's what should would have said if she wasn't so doped up.

Patrick: You're not very talkative are you?
Kat Stratford: Depends on the subject. My fenders don't exactly whip me into a verbal frenzy.

Patrick: It's not everyday you find a girl who'll flash to get you out of detention.

Patrick: See, who needs affection when I have blind hatred?

Patrick: Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed.

Michael: Uhh, excuse me, just one question before we start. Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver?

Kat Stratford: You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke.
Patrick: I know, I quit. Apparently they're bad for you.
Kat Stratford: You think?

Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl.
Kat Stratford: Is that right?
Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I fell for her.

Patrick: Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.

Cameron: She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time.
Patrick: Cameron, do you like the girl?
Cameron: Yeah
Patrick: Yeah, and is she worth all this trouble?
Cameron: Well, I thought she was, but you know.
Patrick: Well, she is or she isn't. See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want. Go for it.

Ms. Perky: So, I hear you've been terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class... again.
Kat Stratford: Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.
Ms. Perky: The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgeway? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.
Kat Stratford: I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls.

Joey: Mr. Morgan, do you think you could get Kat to take her Midol before she comes to class?
Mr. Morgan: Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.

Patrick: Is that a yes?
Kat Stratford: No.
Patrick: Or is that a no?
Kat Stratford: No.

Cameron: Would any of you be interested in dating Katarina Stratford?
Wimpy Loser: Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?

Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat?
Cameron: Yeah, my dad is, uh...
Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains everywhere.
Cameron: Excuse me? Did you just say... am I in the right office?
Ms. Perky: Not anymore you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!

Ms. Perky: Patrick Verona. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual.
Patrick: Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, hit the lights?
Ms. Perky: Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?
Patrick: I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst.
Ms. Perky: Bratwurst? Aren't we the optimist. Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? Scoot!

Cameron: Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter.

Mr. Morgan: I know how difficult it must be to overcome all those years of upper middle-class suburban oppression. Must be tough. But the next time you storm the PTA crusading for better... lunch meat, or whatever you white girls complain about, ask them WHY they can't buy a book written by a black man!
White Rastas: That's right mon!
Mr. Morgan: Don't even get me started on you two!
White Rastas: No problem mon!

Bianca: People expect me to me there!
Walter Stratford: If Kat's not going, you're not going!
Bianca: Why can't you just be normal?
Kat Stratford: Define normal.
Bianca: Bogey Lowenstein's party is normal.
Walter Stratford: What's a Bogey Lowenstein?
Kat Stratford: Bogey's party is an pathetic excuse for all the idiots in our school to drink beer and rub up against each other in hopes of distracting themselves from the emptiness of their meaningless...
Bianca, Chastity: ...consumer-driven lives.

Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know.
Patrick: Yeah I know. But then you know there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.

Joey: Hey, is your sister around?
Kat Stratford: Stay away from my sister.
Joey: Oh, I'll stay away from her, but I can't guarantee that she'll stay away from me.

Joey: Are you lost?
Michael: No, actually I just came by to chat.
Joey: We don't chat.

Walter Stratford: You're 18, you don't know what you want. And you won't know what you want 'til you're 45, and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it.

Joey: [holding up headshots] Which one do you like better?
Bianca: Hmm, I think I like the white shirt better.
Joey: Yeah, it's more...
Bianca: Pensive?
Joey: Damn, I was going for thoughtful.

Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member.
Ms. Perky: "Quivering member." I like that.

Kat Stratford: I'll let you get back to Reginold's quivering member.

Ms. Perky: Quivering member...I like that.

Bianca: Can we for two seconds forget the fact that you are completely unhinged for 2 seconds and talk about my need for teenaged normalcy?
Walter Stratford: What's normal? Those damn Dawson's river kids, sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot?

Bianca: But she is a mutant! What if she never dates?
Walter Stratford: then you'll never date... Oh, I like that.

Cameron: Well that was until she kissed me
Patrick: Where?
Cameron: in the car

Patrick: I thought you wanted out.
Cameron: Yeah but uh... that was before she kissed me.
Patrick: Where?
Cameron: In the car.

[After purposefully crashing into a car]
Kat Stratford: Whoops.

Bianca: You Suck!
Kat Stratford: You Suck!

Kat Stratford: What is it asshole day?

[talking about the prom]
Kat Stratford: Can you even imagine? Who the hell would go to that antipated mating-ritual?
Mandella: Um, I would, but I don't have a date.
Kat Stratford: Do you really want to get all dressed up, so some bacar-newar wearing dextar with a boner can feel you up while you're forced to listen to a band that by definition, blows?

Kat Stratford: We'd be making a statement.
Kat's friend: Oh goody, something new and different for us!

Kat Stratford: Tell me something true.
Patrick: Something true,... I hate pees.
Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows.
Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.

Mr. Morgan: What did you get up to the weekend?
Joey: Why don't you ask Kat!
Mr. Morgan: unless she kicked your ass I don't wanna know about it!

Mr. Morgan: Now go to the office - you're pissin' me off!
Kat Stratford: But ...
Mr. Morgan: - later.
Joey: Thanks Mr. Morgan.
Mr. Morgan: Shut up!

[Two guys are fighting in his house, making a mess]
Bogey Lowenstein: Could you guys take this outside?
[They smash through a window]
Bogey Lowenstein: Thank you

Michael: And here we have the white Rasta's. Semi-political, but mostly...
Cameron: Smoke a lot of weed?

Patrick: Well maybe you are not scared of me but I am sure you thought of me naked.
Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent?! I *need* you, I *want* you, oh baby, oh baby.

Mr. Morgan: [after reading Shakespearean sonnet] Now. I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, but he knows his shit, so we can overlook that. I want you all to right your own version of this sonnet. (Kat raises her hand in the background) Yes, Ms. "I Have An Opinion About Everything"?

Michael: I got the scoop: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.
Patrick: Thanks Michael. Very reassuring.

Cameron: Well, you never know. Maybe she just needs a day to cool off.
[they all duck as a soccer ball flies past them]
Patrick: Maybe two.

Patrick: Hey there girly...how you doin'?
Kat Stratford: Sweating like a pig actually and yourself?
Patrick: Now there's a way to get a guys attention huh?
Kat Stratford: My mission in life but obviously I struck your fancy so you see it worked...the world makes sense again.

Michael: I'm thinking about getting a Tercel. Yup, that's a Toyota.

Patrick: "So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book and listen to chicks who can't play their instruments right?"

Bianca: Can't you find some blind deaf retard to take you to the movies so I can have one date?

Kat Stratford: I'm sorry looks like you are going to have miss out on the witty repartee of Joey "eat me" Donner

Patrick: Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy?

Kat Stratford: I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.

Walter Stratford: And I'll get to sleep at night. The deep slumber of a father whose daughters aren't out being impregnated.