Random-Fun - Film Quotes

Back to - Film Quotes - B

Bad Boys

Captain Howard: Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it.

Captain Howard: Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowery, you be him, that's what you are, you're him!
Marcus Burnett: But I---
Captain Howard: You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him! And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you.

Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.

Mike Lowrey: Hello?
Marcus Burnett: We're your new neighbors.
Mike Lowrey: Don't be alarmed, we're negros.
Marcus Burnett: Naw man, naw! Too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound more like them.
[In high pitched voice]
Marcus Burnett: We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar..?

Casper: Jesus! Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again!

Mike Lowrey: You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.

Marcus Burnett: You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.

Mike Lowrey: King Dingaling.

Mike Lowrey: You freeze, bitch!
Store Clerk: Oh shit, I'm fucked.
Mike Lowrey: Now back up, put the gun down and give me a packet of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.
Marcus Burnett: And some Skittles.

Marcus Burnett: You mean, y'all paid, what, $80,000 for this car and you ain't got no damn cup holder?!
Mike Lowrey: It's $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. Limited edition.
Marcus Burnett: You damn right it's limited! No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin' the fuck along.

Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh.
Marcus Burnett: Say what?
Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name.
Marcus Burnett: It's just bologna. My bologna has a first name.

Marcus Burnett: This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up!

Marcus Burnett: Do you see the fuckin emotion on my face? That means this shit is serious! That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now!

Mike Lowrey: I don't know why you runnin' to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't work!

Mike Lowrey: You know, I'm so sick of this bullshit! Am I supposed to apologize for my family leaving me money? All I ever wanted to do was be a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first one there, and the last one to leave, so you know what, fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck everybody that's got a problem with Mike Lowery.
Marcus Burnett: I love you, man.
Mike Lowrey: Fuck you!
Marcus Burnett: I do.
Mike Lowrey: Shut up, you slowass driver. You drive like a bitch!
Marcus Burnett: Why I gotta be all that? Tell you what, I'll drive off this fuckin cliff if you keep fuckin with me. Then it'll be two bitches in the sea. My wife knows I'm no bitch. I'm a bad boy!

Mike Lowrey: They should just bone and get that shit over with.

Marcus Burnett: Oh, man, that was cold!
Detective Sanchez: Yeah, so was your mama's bed.

Store Clerk: Freeze mother bitches!

Fouchet: I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you?
Casper: Uh, yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself go.

Mike Lowrey: [to thug that is holding a gun to his head] Let me tell you bad bad of a day your having, right now your jacking a couple cops.
Thug #1: Oh yeah, well I'm a stand up comedian and I SUCK so I need your car.

Marcus Burnett: You got the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Mike Lowrey: Yo man, what the fuck are you doing?
Marcus Burnett: Gettin' it outta the way.

Mike Lowrey: Please, man! Married life is easy! You only got one woman to satisfy!
Marcus Burnett: Yo, man, we ain't the Cosbys!

Marcus Burnett: You forgot your boarding pass!

Marcus Burnett: Mike! Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile.

Theresa Burnett: And you don't even have your wedding ring on!
[Slams bedroom door shut]
Marcus Burnett: Damn. Um. Naw Naw I went undercover! And it uh required the taking off of the ring that's all for a second. But I got the ring, look I just put my hand in my pocket cos that's where it was and its right back on baby!
[Sighs]
Marcus Burnett: Damn. Can I get a pillow?

Marcus Burnett: [trying to imitate Mike] Hello, this is Mike Low-rey...
Captain Howard: That's not how he sounds. Try to talk sexy! Sexy, sexy! You don't sound sexy enough!
Marcus Burnett: Cap, Cap, I've been there!

Mike Lowrey: Now let's hear some of those jokes, bitch!

Marcus Burnett: You better do something quick, 'cause we're running out of road!
Mike Lowrey: Who picked this dumb-ass road?!

Marcus Burnett: Man, I ain't no Wesley Snipes! I just hang out with stupid-ass friends, who drive stupid-ass cars, that attract a lot of stupid-ass attention!
Mike Lowrey: You know, I should just jump over this car and smack you on your peasy-ass little head!

Julie Mott: Can I help you?
Theresa Burnett: Yes, I'm here to kill my husband.
Julie Mott: Which one, the tall one or the short one?
Theresa Burnett: The short one.

Marcus Burnett: Damn, why am I tripping on stuff I already know is there?

Marcus Burnett: (driving the "ice-cream truck") What am I smelling?
Julie Mott: Ether! Highly inflammable... ether.
Mike Lowrey: Oh shit...
Marcus Burnett: Oh! You the man! You the one who picked an ice-cream truck that's a damn bomb!!

Marcus Burnett: [to Fletch] If you don't sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the fuck out!

Mike Lowrey: Hey, hey, what's this having-a-picnic shit in my car?
Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, OK? Don't deny me this.
Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday!
Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.

Theresa Burnett: Oh oh! Don't kiss me, Mike. I don't know where your lips were last night! Move!
Quincy Burnett: Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night?
Mike Lowrey: Whooo! Did I! Let me tell you, this girl was...
Theresa Burnett: Hey hey! Don't you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories.
Mike Lowrey: Aw, no. I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories.
Marcus Burnett: Hey!
Theresa Burnett: Well, I don't want him hearing either. Gives him ideas.
Marcus Burnett: Why are you doing this to me, man? I'm with my babies. Okay? Thank you!

Stake-out crook: Watching the place was my first gig.
Detective Sanchez: Oh, so does that make you union?

Marcus Burnett: I'm not understanding. Do you just attract violent people?

Mike Lowrey: My plans always work sometimes!




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - B Bad Boys Captain Howard: Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said 'cause I was standing there when I said it. Captain Howard: Until then, until then, you are Mike Lowery, you be him, that's what you are, you're him! Marcus Burnett: But I--- Captain Howard: You're him, I don't wanna hear it, you're him! And you, you're you, you be you, but not in front of her. You're him, you're you. Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'? Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick. Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off. Mike Lowrey: Hello? Marcus Burnett: We're your new neighbors. Mike Lowrey: Don't be alarmed, we're negros. Marcus Burnett: Naw man, naw! Too much bass in your voice. That scares white folks. You got to sound more like them. [In high pitched voice] Marcus Burnett: We were wondering if we could borrow some brown sugar..? Casper: Jesus! Could you use a smaller gun? You got blood on me again! Mike Lowrey: You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy. Marcus Burnett: You know I'm a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet. Mike Lowrey: King Dingaling. Mike Lowrey: You freeze, bitch! Store Clerk: Oh shit, I'm fucked. Mike Lowrey: Now back up, put the gun down and give me a packet of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious. Marcus Burnett: And some Skittles. Marcus Burnett: You mean, y'all paid, what, $80,000 for this car and you ain't got no damn cup holder?! Mike Lowrey: It's $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. Limited edition. Marcus Burnett: You damn right it's limited! No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin' the fuck along. Julie Mott: I don't eat flesh. Marcus Burnett: Say what? Julie Mott: That's flesh that you're shoveling into your mouth. You know, that was, like, a living, breathing creature. You know, it probably had a name. Marcus Burnett: It's just bologna. My bologna has a first name. Marcus Burnett: This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is fucked up! Marcus Burnett: Do you see the fuckin emotion on my face? That means this shit is serious! That means me and this motherfucker's not vibin' right now! Mike Lowrey: I don't know why you runnin' to your wife. You got shot in the leg, your dick probably don't work! Mike Lowrey: You know, I'm so sick of this bullshit! Am I supposed to apologize for my family leaving me money? All I ever wanted to do was be a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I'm the first one there, and the last one to leave, so you know what, fuck you, and fuck them, and fuck everybody that's got a problem with Mike Lowery. Marcus Burnett: I love you, man. Mike Lowrey: Fuck you! Marcus Burnett: I do. Mike Lowrey: Shut up, you slowass driver. You drive like a bitch! Marcus Burnett: Why I gotta be all that? Tell you what, I'll drive off this fuckin cliff if you keep fuckin with me. Then it'll be two bitches in the sea. My wife knows I'm no bitch. I'm a bad boy! Mike Lowrey: They should just bone and get that shit over with. Marcus Burnett: Oh, man, that was cold! Detective Sanchez: Yeah, so was your mama's bed. Store Clerk: Freeze mother bitches! Fouchet: I like it when a woman takes pride in her appearance. Don't you? Casper: Uh, yeah, I hate it when a bitch lets herself go. Mike Lowrey: [to thug that is holding a gun to his head] Let me tell you bad bad of a day your having, right now your jacking a couple cops. Thug #1: Oh yeah, well I'm a stand up comedian and I SUCK so I need your car. Marcus Burnett: You got the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Mike Lowrey: Yo man, what the fuck are you doing? Marcus Burnett: Gettin' it outta the way. Mike Lowrey: Please, man! Married life is easy! You only got one woman to satisfy! Marcus Burnett: Yo, man, we ain't the Cosbys! Marcus Burnett: You forgot your boarding pass! Marcus Burnett: Mike! Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile. Theresa Burnett: And you don't even have your wedding ring on! [Slams bedroom door shut] Marcus Burnett: Damn. Um. Naw Naw I went undercover! And it uh required the taking off of the ring that's all for a second. But I got the ring, look I just put my hand in my pocket cos that's where it was and its right back on baby! [Sighs] Marcus Burnett: Damn. Can I get a pillow? Marcus Burnett: [trying to imitate Mike] Hello, this is Mike Low-rey... Captain Howard: That's not how he sounds. Try to talk sexy! Sexy, sexy! You don't sound sexy enough! Marcus Burnett: Cap, Cap, I've been there! Mike Lowrey: Now let's hear some of those jokes, bitch! Marcus Burnett: You better do something quick, 'cause we're running out of road! Mike Lowrey: Who picked this dumb-ass road?! Marcus Burnett: Man, I ain't no Wesley Snipes! I just hang out with stupid-ass friends, who drive stupid-ass cars, that attract a lot of stupid-ass attention! Mike Lowrey: You know, I should just jump over this car and smack you on your peasy-ass little head! Julie Mott: Can I help you? Theresa Burnett: Yes, I'm here to kill my husband. Julie Mott: Which one, the tall one or the short one? Theresa Burnett: The short one. Marcus Burnett: Damn, why am I tripping on stuff I already know is there? Marcus Burnett: (driving the "ice-cream truck") What am I smelling? Julie Mott: Ether! Highly inflammable... ether. Mike Lowrey: Oh shit... Marcus Burnett: Oh! You the man! You the one who picked an ice-cream truck that's a damn bomb!! Marcus Burnett: [to Fletch] If you don't sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the fuck out! Mike Lowrey: Hey, hey, what's this having-a-picnic shit in my car? Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, OK? Don't deny me this. Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday! Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none. Theresa Burnett: Oh oh! Don't kiss me, Mike. I don't know where your lips were last night! Move! Quincy Burnett: Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night? Mike Lowrey: Whooo! Did I! Let me tell you, this girl was... Theresa Burnett: Hey hey! Don't you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories. Mike Lowrey: Aw, no. I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories. Marcus Burnett: Hey! Theresa Burnett: Well, I don't want him hearing either. Gives him ideas. Marcus Burnett: Why are you doing this to me, man? I'm with my babies. Okay? Thank you! Stake-out crook: Watching the place was my first gig. Detective Sanchez: Oh, so does that make you union? Marcus Burnett: I'm not understanding. Do you just attract violent people? Mike Lowrey: My plans always work sometimes!