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Con Air

[They can't reach Vince Larkin]
Duncan Malloy: Well of course you can't reach him. He's off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit.

[Cyrus is about to burn Cindino alive]
Francisco Cindino: Cy!
Cyrus Grissom: ...onara!

[Holding a gun to the stuffed animal bunny.]
Cyrus Grissom: Don't move or the bunny gets it.

Cameron Poe: Put... the bunny... back... in the... box.

Cyrus Grissom: I despise rapists. For me, they're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corners of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception.

Agent Sims: I'm DEA, d'you know what the fuck that means?
Pinball: It means you're the most crooked nigger on the plane!

Local cop: I got a problem with a corpse.
Larkin: Yeah?
Local cop: Yeah, fell from the sky. I don't think he's an astronaut.

Duncan Malloy: Beautiful? Sunsets are beautiful, newborn babies are beautiful. This... this is fucking spectacular!

Garland Greene: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane?

[To Cyrus, while holding a gun]
Pinball: You didn't mean that "dirty nigger crackhead" shit, did you?
Cyrus Grissom: Give me that gun.
[Takes the gun.]
Cyrus Grissom: Hell yes, I meant it.

[to the pilot whom he is holding at gunpoint]
Cyrus Grissom: Say a word about this over the radio, and the next wings you see will belong to the flies buzzing over your rotting corpse!

Vince Larkin: Are you with me or do you need me to draw it in crayon like usual?

Garland Greene: He's a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliche; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry that moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts.

Pinball: I hate to say this, Cyrus, but we are three white dudes short. Or as they say in Ebonics, "We be fucked".

William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Have you lost your mind?
Cyrus Grissom: According to my last psych evaluation yes.

Cyrus Grissom: Johnny, can you fly?
Johnny 23: No.
Cyrus Grissom: You keep that in mind, cause if your dick jumps out of your pants, you jump off this plane!

Duncan Malloy: What's with dictionary-boy over here?
Vince Larkin: I believe thesaurus-boy would be more appropriate.

Duncan Malloy: This is a situation that needs to get un-fucked right now!

Sally Can't Dance: What can I do?
Cyrus Grissom: Take this gun. And if any one comes near you, scratch their eyes out!

[Sally Can't Dance is surrounded by cops.]
Sally Can't Dance: Ooh. Men in uniform.

Baby O: What's wrong with him?
Cameron Poe: My first guess would be... a lot.

Vince Larkin: Cyrus, where are you taking my plane?
Cyrus Grissom: We're going to Disney Land.

Cyrus Grissom: The last thing your daughter will smell will be my hot stinking breath!

Cyrus Grissom: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air.

Cameron Poe: That gun work?
Vince Larkin: Yeah
Cameron Poe: Then shot that piece of shit!

Vince Larkin: If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust?
[silence]
Vince Larkin: That was a joke.
Cameron Poe: I'm glad you told me.

Johnny 23: Do you know what I am?
Cameron Poe: Ugly all day?

Cameron Poe: Somehow they managed to get every creep and freak in the universe on this one plane.

Vince Larkin: Cyrus is a poster child for the criminally insane.

[After seeing a Corvette being towed in the air by a plane.]
Cameron Poe: On any other day, that might seem strange.

Garland Greene: One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat.

Vince Larkin: They call him Cyrus the Virus. He claims he's killed more people than cancer.

Vince Larkin: So what are you going to do now?
Cameron Poe: What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the fuckin' day!

["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background.]
Garland Greene: Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash.

Cameron Poe: There's only two men I trust. One is me. The other is not you.

Cameron Poe: There's now three people I trust.
Vince Larkin: Am I one of them?

Cyrus Grissom: Oh, nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder on the airplane.

Cyrus Grissom: Thank you Poe, you've proven to be a most useful mammal.
Poe: Many hands make light work. My father taught me that.
Cyrus Grissom: Know what my father taught me? Nothing.
Poe: Self-educated man.

Cyrus Grissom: It's not difficult to surmise Nathan's feelings towards killing these guards; and my own proclivities are well-known and often-lamented facts of penal lore.

Pinball: Hey, man. You Swamp Thing?
Swamp Thing: That's right.
Pinball: You gonna fly the plane?
Swamp Thing: That's right.
Pinball: It's amazing the shit you white trash know.
Swamp Thing: That's right.

Cyrus Grissom: If we let you out, are you gonna play nice, Billy?
William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Probably not.

Guard Falzon: If any of you so much as pass gas in my direction and upset my delicate nasal passages, your testicles will become my private property.

Little Girl: Are you sick?
Garland Greene: Why do you ask?
Little Girl: You look sick.
Garland Greene: I am sick.
Little Girl: Do you take medicine?
Garland Greene: There is no medicine for what I have.

Duncan Malloy: This is a situation that needs to get unfucked, right now!

[referring to Malloy's Corvette falling from the plane]
Vince Larkin: I know a good body shop in Fresno if it's insured.
Malloy: Nah, I was bored with it anyway.
Vince Larkin: Oh, well it worked out better this way, then.

Vince Larkin: [quoting Dostoyevsky] "The degree of civilization can be judged by its prisoners." Dostoyevsky said that
[pauses]
Vince Larkin: after doin' a little time.

Cyrus Grissom: Guard Falzon?
Guard Falzon: What is it, Cyrus?
Cyrus Grissom: Oh, Stewardess? Stewardess? What's the in-flight movie today?
Guard Falzon: Well, I think you'll like it Cyrus. It's called I'll Never Make Love to a Woman on the Beach Again, and it's proceeded by the award-winning short, No More Steak For Me, Ever.

Guard Falzon: It smells like someone shit in your mouth.
Pinball: He told me he loved me.

Garland Greene: [singing in the crashing plane] He's got the who-ole wo-orld in his hands...




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - C Con Air [They can't reach Vince Larkin] Duncan Malloy: Well of course you can't reach him. He's off saving the rain forest, or recycling his sandals or some shit. [Cyrus is about to burn Cindino alive] Francisco Cindino: Cy! Cyrus Grissom: ...onara! [Holding a gun to the stuffed animal bunny.] Cyrus Grissom: Don't move or the bunny gets it. Cameron Poe: Put... the bunny... back... in the... box. Cyrus Grissom: I despise rapists. For me, they're somewhere between a cockroach and that white stuff that accumulates at the corners of your mouth when you're really thirsty. But, in your case, I'll make an exception. Agent Sims: I'm DEA, d'you know what the fuck that means? Pinball: It means you're the most crooked nigger on the plane! Local cop: I got a problem with a corpse. Larkin: Yeah? Local cop: Yeah, fell from the sky. I don't think he's an astronaut. Duncan Malloy: Beautiful? Sunsets are beautiful, newborn babies are beautiful. This... this is fucking spectacular! Garland Greene: What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to piss off; ending up in some retirement village hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet on time? Wouldn't you consider that to be insane? [To Cyrus, while holding a gun] Pinball: You didn't mean that "dirty nigger crackhead" shit, did you? Cyrus Grissom: Give me that gun. [Takes the gun.] Cyrus Grissom: Hell yes, I meant it. [to the pilot whom he is holding at gunpoint] Cyrus Grissom: Say a word about this over the radio, and the next wings you see will belong to the flies buzzing over your rotting corpse! Vince Larkin: Are you with me or do you need me to draw it in crayon like usual? Garland Greene: He's a fountain of misplaced rage. Name your cliche; Mother held him too much or not enough, last picked at kickball, late night sneaky uncle, whatever. Now he's so angry that moments of levity actually cause him pain; give him headaches. Happiness, for that gentleman, hurts. Pinball: I hate to say this, Cyrus, but we are three white dudes short. Or as they say in Ebonics, "We be fucked". William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Have you lost your mind? Cyrus Grissom: According to my last psych evaluation yes. Cyrus Grissom: Johnny, can you fly? Johnny 23: No. Cyrus Grissom: You keep that in mind, cause if your dick jumps out of your pants, you jump off this plane! Duncan Malloy: What's with dictionary-boy over here? Vince Larkin: I believe thesaurus-boy would be more appropriate. Duncan Malloy: This is a situation that needs to get un-fucked right now! Sally Can't Dance: What can I do? Cyrus Grissom: Take this gun. And if any one comes near you, scratch their eyes out! [Sally Can't Dance is surrounded by cops.] Sally Can't Dance: Ooh. Men in uniform. Baby O: What's wrong with him? Cameron Poe: My first guess would be... a lot. Vince Larkin: Cyrus, where are you taking my plane? Cyrus Grissom: We're going to Disney Land. Cyrus Grissom: The last thing your daughter will smell will be my hot stinking breath! Cyrus Grissom: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I have the only gun on board. Welcome to Con Air. Cameron Poe: That gun work? Vince Larkin: Yeah Cameron Poe: Then shot that piece of shit! Vince Larkin: If you can't trust a South American drug lord, who can you trust? [silence] Vince Larkin: That was a joke. Cameron Poe: I'm glad you told me. Johnny 23: Do you know what I am? Cameron Poe: Ugly all day? Cameron Poe: Somehow they managed to get every creep and freak in the universe on this one plane. Vince Larkin: Cyrus is a poster child for the criminally insane. [After seeing a Corvette being towed in the air by a plane.] Cameron Poe: On any other day, that might seem strange. Garland Greene: One girl, I drove through three states wearing her head as a hat. Vince Larkin: They call him Cyrus the Virus. He claims he's killed more people than cancer. Vince Larkin: So what are you going to do now? Cameron Poe: What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the fuckin' day! ["Sweet Home Alabama" plays in background.] Garland Greene: Define irony: a bunch of idiots dancing around on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash. Cameron Poe: There's only two men I trust. One is me. The other is not you. Cameron Poe: There's now three people I trust. Vince Larkin: Am I one of them? Cyrus Grissom: Oh, nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder on the airplane. Cyrus Grissom: Thank you Poe, you've proven to be a most useful mammal. Poe: Many hands make light work. My father taught me that. Cyrus Grissom: Know what my father taught me? Nothing. Poe: Self-educated man. Cyrus Grissom: It's not difficult to surmise Nathan's feelings towards killing these guards; and my own proclivities are well-known and often-lamented facts of penal lore. Pinball: Hey, man. You Swamp Thing? Swamp Thing: That's right. Pinball: You gonna fly the plane? Swamp Thing: That's right. Pinball: It's amazing the shit you white trash know. Swamp Thing: That's right. Cyrus Grissom: If we let you out, are you gonna play nice, Billy? William 'Billy Bedlam' Bedford: Probably not. Guard Falzon: If any of you so much as pass gas in my direction and upset my delicate nasal passages, your testicles will become my private property. Little Girl: Are you sick? Garland Greene: Why do you ask? Little Girl: You look sick. Garland Greene: I am sick. Little Girl: Do you take medicine? Garland Greene: There is no medicine for what I have. Duncan Malloy: This is a situation that needs to get unfucked, right now! [referring to Malloy's Corvette falling from the plane] Vince Larkin: I know a good body shop in Fresno if it's insured. Malloy: Nah, I was bored with it anyway. Vince Larkin: Oh, well it worked out better this way, then. Vince Larkin: [quoting Dostoyevsky] "The degree of civilization can be judged by its prisoners." Dostoyevsky said that [pauses] Vince Larkin: after doin' a little time. Cyrus Grissom: Guard Falzon? Guard Falzon: What is it, Cyrus? Cyrus Grissom: Oh, Stewardess? Stewardess? What's the in-flight movie today? Guard Falzon: Well, I think you'll like it Cyrus. It's called I'll Never Make Love to a Woman on the Beach Again, and it's proceeded by the award-winning short, No More Steak For Me, Ever. Guard Falzon: It smells like someone shit in your mouth. Pinball: He told me he loved me. Garland Greene: [singing in the crashing plane] He's got the who-ole wo-orld in his hands...