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Die Hard 2

Carmine Lorenzo: You are in my little pond now, and I am the big fish that runs it
John McClane: That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me! You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It dosen't show up on you airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make here in a month.
Carmine Lorenzo: You'd be a surprised what I make in a month.
John McClane: If it was more than a dollar ninety-eight I'd be surprised.

Al Powell: What's this about?
John McClane: Oh, just a feeling I have.
Al Powell: Ouch! When you get those feelings, insurance companies start to go bankrupt.

John McClane: Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brain?

[McClane is forced to crawl through yet another ventilation system]
John McClane: Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. A little eggnog... a fuckin' Christmas tree... a little turkey. But, no! I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can!

[McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter]
Chopper Pilot: What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough?
John McClane: I don't like to fly.
Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here?
John McClane: I don't like to lose either.

Al Powell: You ain't pissing in somebody's pool, are you?
John McClane: Yeah, and I'm fresh out of chlorine.

John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice?

Grant: You are the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time!
John McClane: Story of my life.

John McClane: I guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an asshole after all.
Grant: Oh, you were right about me. I'm just your kind of asshole.

Grant: Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you.
John McClane: I got enough friends!

Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport.
John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too.

Marvin: So you like that one huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it?
John McClane: How 'bout I let you live?
Marvin: Man sure knows how to bargain.

Carmine Lorenzo: Hey McClane, did you get this parking ticket in front of my airport?
John McClane: Yeah.
[Lorenzo tears ticket up]
Carmine Lorenzo: Ah what the hell it's Christmas!!

[John can't get out from under his parachute]
John McClane: Where's the fuckin door?

John McClane: How are ya Marvin?
Marvin: I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean up this mess!

[John McClane is taking a dead guy's fingerprints]
Morgue Worker: Hey! You're supposed to do that at the morgue!
John McClane: Not anymore. Got a new SOP for DOA's from the FAA.

John McClane: Yippie-kay-yay, motherfucker!

[To Al Powell]
John McClane: Will you take the fucking Twinkie out of your mouth?

John McClane: Holly, here's your fucking landing light! WHOOO!!

Rent-A-Car Girl: I'm closing off in an hour. Do you want to get a drink?
John McClane: [shows his engagement ring] Just the fax, ma'am.

Samantha Coleman: Colonel Stuart, can I have a few words with you?
Col. Stuart: You can have two; Fuck and you.

[about Richard Thornburg]
Stewardess: What did you do to him?
Holly McClane: I knocked two of his teeth out.
Stewardess: Would you like some champagne?




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - D Die Hard 2 Carmine Lorenzo: You are in my little pond now, and I am the big fish that runs it John McClane: That punk pulled a Glock 7 on me! You know what that is? It's a porcelain gun made in Germany. It dosen't show up on you airport X-ray machines, and it cost more than you make here in a month. Carmine Lorenzo: You'd be a surprised what I make in a month. John McClane: If it was more than a dollar ninety-eight I'd be surprised. Al Powell: What's this about? John McClane: Oh, just a feeling I have. Al Powell: Ouch! When you get those feelings, insurance companies start to go bankrupt. John McClane: Hey, Carmine, let me ask you something. What sets off the metal detectors first? The lead in your ass or the shit in your brain? [McClane is forced to crawl through yet another ventilation system] John McClane: Just once, I'd like a regular, normal Christmas. A little eggnog... a fuckin' Christmas tree... a little turkey. But, no! I gotta crawl around in this motherfuckin' tin can! [McClane is showing his nervousness while riding in a helicopter] Chopper Pilot: What's the matter, cowboy? Ride too rough? John McClane: I don't like to fly. Samantha Coleman: Then what are you doing here? John McClane: I don't like to lose either. Al Powell: You ain't pissing in somebody's pool, are you? John McClane: Yeah, and I'm fresh out of chlorine. John McClane: Oh man, I can't fucking believe this. Another basement, another elevator. How can the same thing happen to the same guy twice? Grant: You are the wrong person at the wrong place at the wrong time! John McClane: Story of my life. John McClane: I guess I was wrong about you. You're not such an asshole after all. Grant: Oh, you were right about me. I'm just your kind of asshole. Grant: Too bad, McClane. I kind of liked you. John McClane: I got enough friends! Holly McClane: They told me there were terrorists at the airport. John McClane: Yeah, I heard that too. Marvin: So you like that one huh? How 'bout you give me twenty bucks for it? John McClane: How 'bout I let you live? Marvin: Man sure knows how to bargain. Carmine Lorenzo: Hey McClane, did you get this parking ticket in front of my airport? John McClane: Yeah. [Lorenzo tears ticket up] Carmine Lorenzo: Ah what the hell it's Christmas!! [John can't get out from under his parachute] John McClane: Where's the fuckin door? John McClane: How are ya Marvin? Marvin: I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean up this mess! [John McClane is taking a dead guy's fingerprints] Morgue Worker: Hey! You're supposed to do that at the morgue! John McClane: Not anymore. Got a new SOP for DOA's from the FAA. John McClane: Yippie-kay-yay, motherfucker! [To Al Powell] John McClane: Will you take the fucking Twinkie out of your mouth? John McClane: Holly, here's your fucking landing light! WHOOO!! Rent-A-Car Girl: I'm closing off in an hour. Do you want to get a drink? John McClane: [shows his engagement ring] Just the fax, ma'am. Samantha Coleman: Colonel Stuart, can I have a few words with you? Col. Stuart: You can have two; Fuck and you. [about Richard Thornburg] Stewardess: What did you do to him? Holly McClane: I knocked two of his teeth out. Stewardess: Would you like some champagne?