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Evolution

Ira Kane: If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
Harry Block: Lingerie.
Ira Kane: Not you, the bird.
Harry Block: Lingerie.

Ira Kane: Grab that one. Come on, it's for science!
Harry Block: I seen this movie, the black dude dies first.

Ira Kane: Let go of my friend you giant sphincter!

[Dr. Paulson is going to pull the alien bug out through Harry's rectum]
Nurse Tate: I'll get the lubricant...
Dr. Paulson: No time for lubricant!
Harry Block: There's *always* time for lubricant!

Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College.
Harry Block: Harry Block, geology professor, Glen Canyon Community College.
Wanye Grey: Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school.

[The heroes just killed a dinosaur-like creature.]
Ira Kane: So, you want the light meat, or the dark meat?
Harry Block: You have to ask?

Harry Block: So, do they give the Nobel Prize out in yearly payments or is it just one large cash prize like the lottery?
Ira Kane: Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Harry Block: Oh, I'm not getting ahead of myself, I'm just wanna be prepared for any potential tax repercussions.

[An alien bug is crawling inside Block's leg]
Harry Block: No, not the leg. Ira, don't let them take my leg.
Nurse Tate: Doctor! It's moving.
Dr. Paulson: It's headed for the testicles.
Harry Block: Take the leg! Please take the leg!

Ira Kane: Ladies, ladies, there's a terrifying alien bird menacing the mall. Can we focus?"

Ira Kane: You took it like a man... it was this big

Harry Block: Great googa-mooga!

Wanye Grey: [trying to get the aliens attention] Ka Ka Tukki Tukki.
Harry Block: I think we have established that, "Ka Ka and Tukki Tukki," are not working.

Harry Block: Testing, testing, one, two... this is D.J. Harry Block, and I'm an Aquarius-
Ira Kane: Harry, enough already, I hear you.
Harry Block: Don't snap at me, Ira, unless you want an angry solid gold dancer on your hands.

Ira Kane: You wouldn't understand.
Dr. Allison Reed: No, how could I? I'm just a humorless ice queen in desperate need of a good humping.
Ira Kane: Oh...you heard that, huh?
Dr. Allison Reed: Loud and clear.

[After an alien bug crawls into his body]
Harry Block: For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me!

Nadine: I really need these credits to get into nursing school.
Harry Block: Nursing school? Don't you think you'd be happier in a different profession, one where people's lives were NOT dependent on you?

Dr. Allison Reed: I would've rocked your world.
Ira Kane: You already have.

[Harry has just had an alien removed rectally]
Dr. Allison Reed: Can we get you anything?
Harry Block: Ice cream...I want some ice cream.
Dr. Allison Reed: Ice cream, ok, what flavor do you want?
Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass.

Harry Block: Shouldn't we call the government to help us out on this?
Ira Kane: Absolutely not! I know those people.

Harry Block: Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

Nadine: Um, Professor, the little wiggly worm things in there are breaking.
Ira Kane: It's not breaking, it's splitting. It's mitosis it's how they reproduce.
Harry Block: No sex?
Ira Kane: No time for sex.
Nadine: Bummer.

Harry Block: I may be a Geologist, but how many cells do single celled organisms have?
Ira Kane: Harry, if we're going to be big important scientist people you have to start to act the part.

Ira Kane: Snag it! Come on, snag it!
Harry Block: Snag it? No way. I've seen this movie. The black dude dies first. *You* snag it!

[They see a dying monster coughing something up.]
Wanye Grey: Whoa! It's like a big lugie!
[The 'egg' breaks, and another monster comes out.]
Harry Block: Mozaltah! It's a boy!

[Wayne starts singing into a microphone.]
Wanye Grey: You are so beautiful to me!
Ira Kane: Harry, move, I'm gonna shoot him.
Harry Block: Stand down! I'm taking him out myself.

Ira Kane: Alright lets cut him open.
Harry Block: CUT ME OPEN! There goes your Christmas present!

Governor Lewis: You may proceed, sergeant.
Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: That's general!
Governor Lewis: Not if you screw this up.




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - E Evolution Ira Kane: If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be? Harry Block: Lingerie. Ira Kane: Not you, the bird. Harry Block: Lingerie. Ira Kane: Grab that one. Come on, it's for science! Harry Block: I seen this movie, the black dude dies first. Ira Kane: Let go of my friend you giant sphincter! [Dr. Paulson is going to pull the alien bug out through Harry's rectum] Nurse Tate: I'll get the lubricant... Dr. Paulson: No time for lubricant! Harry Block: There's always time for lubricant! Ira Kane: Ira Kane, head of the science department, Glen Canyon Community College. Harry Block: Harry Block, geology professor, Glen Canyon Community College. Wanye Grey: Wayne Grey. I took some chemistry in high school. [The heroes just killed a dinosaur-like creature.] Ira Kane: So, you want the light meat, or the dark meat? Harry Block: You have to ask? Harry Block: So, do they give the Nobel Prize out in yearly payments or is it just one large cash prize like the lottery? Ira Kane: Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Harry Block: Oh, I'm not getting ahead of myself, I'm just wanna be prepared for any potential tax repercussions. [An alien bug is crawling inside Block's leg] Harry Block: No, not the leg. Ira, don't let them take my leg. Nurse Tate: Doctor! It's moving. Dr. Paulson: It's headed for the testicles. Harry Block: Take the leg! Please take the leg! Ira Kane: Ladies, ladies, there's a terrifying alien bird menacing the mall. Can we focus?" Ira Kane: You took it like a man... it was this big Harry Block: Great googa-mooga! Wanye Grey: [trying to get the aliens attention] Ka Ka Tukki Tukki. Harry Block: I think we have established that, "Ka Ka and Tukki Tukki," are not working. Harry Block: Testing, testing, one, two... this is D.J. Harry Block, and I'm an Aquarius- Ira Kane: Harry, enough already, I hear you. Harry Block: Don't snap at me, Ira, unless you want an angry solid gold dancer on your hands. Ira Kane: You wouldn't understand. Dr. Allison Reed: No, how could I? I'm just a humorless ice queen in desperate need of a good humping. Ira Kane: Oh...you heard that, huh? Dr. Allison Reed: Loud and clear. [After an alien bug crawls into his body] Harry Block: For the love of everything good and holy, get this goddamn thing out of me! Nadine: I really need these credits to get into nursing school. Harry Block: Nursing school? Don't you think you'd be happier in a different profession, one where people's lives were NOT dependent on you? Dr. Allison Reed: I would've rocked your world. Ira Kane: You already have. [Harry has just had an alien removed rectally] Dr. Allison Reed: Can we get you anything? Harry Block: Ice cream...I want some ice cream. Dr. Allison Reed: Ice cream, ok, what flavor do you want? Harry Block: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass. Harry Block: Shouldn't we call the government to help us out on this? Ira Kane: Absolutely not! I know those people. Harry Block: Liar Liar Pants On Fire! Nadine: Um, Professor, the little wiggly worm things in there are breaking. Ira Kane: It's not breaking, it's splitting. It's mitosis it's how they reproduce. Harry Block: No sex? Ira Kane: No time for sex. Nadine: Bummer. Harry Block: I may be a Geologist, but how many cells do single celled organisms have? Ira Kane: Harry, if we're going to be big important scientist people you have to start to act the part. Ira Kane: Snag it! Come on, snag it! Harry Block: Snag it? No way. I've seen this movie. The black dude dies first. You snag it! [They see a dying monster coughing something up.] Wanye Grey: Whoa! It's like a big lugie! [The 'egg' breaks, and another monster comes out.] Harry Block: Mozaltah! It's a boy! [Wayne starts singing into a microphone.] Wanye Grey: You are so beautiful to me! Ira Kane: Harry, move, I'm gonna shoot him. Harry Block: Stand down! I'm taking him out myself. Ira Kane: Alright lets cut him open. Harry Block: CUT ME OPEN! There goes your Christmas present! Governor Lewis: You may proceed, sergeant. Brigadier Gen. Russell Woodman: That's general! Governor Lewis: Not if you screw this up.