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Quotes - G
Galaxy
Quest
Commander Peter Quincy Taggart: Never give up! Never
surrender!
Sir
Alexander Dane: I played Richard III.
Fred Kwan: "There were five curtain
calls."
Sir Alexander Dane: There were five curtain calls. I was an actor
once, damn it! Now look at me. Look at me! I won't go out there and say that stupid
line one more time!
Gwen
DeMarco: I mean, my TV Guide interview was six paragraphs about my BOOBS and how
they fit into my suit!
Jason
Nesmith: Am I too late for Alexander's panic attack?
[Alex hides his face
in despair.]
Jason Nesmith: Apparently not.
Jason
Nesmith: You WILL go out there.
Sir Alexander Dane: I won't and nothing you
say will make me.
Jason Nesmith: The show must go on.
Sir Alexander Dane:
...Damn you.
[On
Jason]
Gwen DeMarco: You've gotta admit, they really do love him.
Tommy
Webber: Yeah, almost as much as he loves himself.
Jason
Nesmith: There is no "quantum flux"! There's no "auxiliary"!
THERE'S NO GODDAMNED SHIP! You got it?!
Commander
Peter Quincy Taggart: As long as there is injustice, whenever a Targathian baby
cries out, wherever a distress signal sounds among the stars, we'll be there.
This fine ship, this fine crew. Never give up... and never surrender.
[Jason
is impressed by the Thermian ship's bridge.]
Jason Nesmith: This is great!
Usually it's just cardboard walls in a garage!
[On
traveling through space in a pod]
Fred Kwan: That was a hell of a thing.
Fred
Kwan: Wow, the floors are so clean!
Gwen
DeMarco: Jason, we are actors, not astronauts!
Mathesar:
We have enjoyed preparing many of your esoteric dishes. Your Monte Cristo sandwich
is a current favorite among the adventurous.
[On
the Thermians' worship of the egotistical Jason Nesmith]
Sir Alexander Dane:
It's like throwing gasoline on a flame.
Quellek:
Are you enjoying your Kep-mok blood ticks, Dr. Lazarus?
Sir Alexander Dane:
[disgusted] Just like mother used to make.
Guy
Fleegman: I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just "Crewman Number Six."
I'm expendable! I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation
is! I've gotta get outta here!
Voice
of Computer: Enemy is matching velocity.
Gwen DeMarco: The enemy is matching
velocity!
Sir Alexander Dane: We heard it the first time!
Gwen DeMarco:
Gosh, I'm doing it. I'm repeating the darn computer!
[Klaxon
sounding.]
Gwen DeMarco: I remember that sound. It's a bad sound!
Gwen
DeMarco: Look, I have ONE job on this lousy ship. It's STUPID, but I'm gonna do
it, OKAY?
[Trying
to explain TV to the Thermians.]
Gwen DeMarco: They're not ALL "historical
documents." Surely, you don't think Gilligan's Island is a --
[All the
Thermians moan in despair]
Mathesar: Those poor people!
Dr.
Lazarus: By Grabthar's hammer, you shall be avenged!
[The
crew is on a shuttle descending to an alien planet.]
Guy Fleegman: I changed
my mind. I wanna go back.
Sir Alexander Dane: After the fuss you made about
getting left behind?
Guy Fleegman: Yeah, but that's when I thought I was the
crewman that stays on the ship, and something is up there, and it kills me. But
now I'm thinking I'm the guy who gets killed by some monster five minutes after
we land on the planet.
Jason Nesmith: You're not gonna die on the planet,
Guy.
Guy Fleegman: I'm not? Then what's my last name?
Jason Nesmith: It's,
uh, uh---I don't know.
Guy Fleegman: Nobody knows! Do you know why? Because
my character isn't important enough for a last name, because I'm gonna die five
minutes in.
Gwen DeMarco: Guy, you have a last name.
Guy Fleegman: DO
I?! DO I?!?! For all you know, I'm "Crewman Number Six"!
Tommy
Webber: You know, with all that makeup and stuff, I actually thought you were
SMART for a second.
Sir
Alexander Dane: Could they be the miners?
Fred Kwan: Sure, they're like three
years old.
Sir Alexander Dane: MINERS, not MINORS.
Fred Kwan: You lost
me.
Guy
Fleegman: Did you guys ever WATCH the show?
Gwen
DeMarco: Let's get out of here before one of those things kills Guy!
Sir
Alexander Dane: You're just going to have to figure out what it wants. What is
its motivation?
Jason Nesmith: It's a rock monster. It doesn't have motivation.
Sir Alexander Dane: See, that's your problem, Jason. You were never serious
about the craft!
[Sarris
forces Jason to tell Mathesar he's an actor on a TV show]
Jason Nesmith: Mathesar,
there's no such person as Captain Taggart. My name is Jason Nesmith. I'm an actor.
We're all actors.
Sarris: He doesn't understand. Explain as you would a child.
Jason Nesmith: We, uh, we pretended.
[On Malthesar's blank look.]
Jason
Nesmith: We lied.
[Sarris
forces Jason to tell Mathesar he's an actor on a TV show.]
Jason Nesmith:
I'm not a commander. There's no "National Space Exploration Administration."
We don't have a ship.
Mathesar: [looking at TV screen] But there it is...!
Jason Nesmith: [gesturing with his fingers] The ship is that big.
Mathesar:
But inside, I see many rooms.
Jason Nesmith: You've seen plywood sets that
look like the inside. Our beryllium sphere is... is wire with plaster around it.
And our digital conveyor is... it's Christmas tree lights. It's a decoration.
It's all fake. Just like me.
Mathesar: But why...?
Jason Nesmith: It's
difficult to explain. On our planet, we, uh... we pretend to... to entertain.
Mathesar, I am so sorry. God, I am so sorry.
Sir
Alexander Dane: Where's the happy ending, Jason? "Never give up, never surrender"?
[After
blowing two of Sarris' men out the airlock.]
Fred Kwan: Sorry, I was -- door
was a little sticky. Did you see that? I'll get one of my boys up here with a
can of WD-40.
[After
fake fighting.]
Jason Nesmith: You used to pull your punches!
Sir Alexander
Dane: It's "Scene-Stealing Hack," thank you.
Jason Nesmith: "Raving
Egomaniac"?
Sir Alexander Dane: Can't think where I got THAT from.
Quellek:
I avoided capture by using your Mak'tar stealth haze!
Gwen
DeMarco: Ducts? Why is it always ducts?
Guy
Fleegman: I'm just a glorified extra, Fred. I'm a dead man anyway. If I'm gonna
die, I'd rather go out a hero than a coward.
Fred Kwan: Guy, Guy... maybe
you're the plucky comic relief. You ever think about that?
Guy Fleegman: Plucky?
Jason
Nesmith: It doesn't take a great actor to recognize a bad one.
Brandon's
Mom: Where are you going with those fireworks?
Brandon: Well, the Protector
got super-accelerated coming out of the black hole, and it, like, nailed the atmosphere
at Mach 15, which, you guys know, is pretty unstable, obviously, so we're gonna
help Laredo guide it on the vox ultra-frequency carrier and use Roman candles
for visual confirmation.
Brandon's Mom: Uh, all right, dinner's at seven.
[Brandon exits. Mom turns to a dubious Dad.]
Brandon's Mom: Well, he's
outside.
[They've
just landed.]
Guy Fleegman: Wait, don't open that! It's an alien planet! Is
there air? You don't know!
[The shuttle door opens. Kwan sniffs the air and
shrugs.]
Fred Kwan: Seems okay.
Jason
Nesmith: Crewman Madison, the mist of this strange planet is filing my head with
such thougts...
Gwen DeMarco: [pushing him away] It was cute when I didn't
know you.
Gwen
DeMarco: Whoever wrote this episode should DIE!
[Reading
a tactical display.]
Guy Fleegman: Hey guys, there's a red-thingy moving toward
the green-thingy.
Jason Nesmith: What?
Guy Fleegman: Red-thingy moving
toward the green-thingy. I think we're the green-thingy.
Sir
Alexander Dane: I see you've managed to get your shirt off.
[Gwen
and Jason encounter the chompers]
Gwen DeMarco: What is this thing? I mean,
it serves no useful purpose for there to be a bunch of chompy, crushy things in
the middle of a hallway. No, I mean we shouldn't have to do this, it makes no
logical sense, why is it here?
Jason Nesmith: 'Cause it's on the television
show!
Gwen DeMarco: Well forget it, I'm not doing it, this episode was badly
written!
Sir
Alexander Dane: By Grabthar's hammer... what savings.
[When
Fred and Larali are kissing on the floor]
Guy Fleegman: Oh *that's* not right!
[Introucing
Guy at the convention]
Announcer: It's... another crew member!
[Introducing
Alex at the convention]
Announcer: Give him a hand, he's British!
Fred
Kwan: It's the simple things in life that you treasure.
Sir
Alexander Dane: You broke the ship! You broke the bloody ship!
Jason
Nesmith: You know, what I could really use here is a cup holder and some Advil.
Jason
Nesmith: Where are you going?
Sir Alexander Dane: To see if there's a pub!
Jason
Nesmith: All right, let's settle down. If we're going to get through this we're
going to need self control.
Gwen DeMraco: Self control? That's funny coming
from the guy that slept with every Terrakian slave and the Moon Princess on the
show!