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Ghostbusters

[Inspecting Dana's refrigerator for paranormal activity]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ugh! Look at all the junk food!
Dana Barrett: Dammit!
Dr. Peter Venkman: You eat this?
Dana Barrett: None of this was here, it was a giant space and there were creatures, and they were growling, and I heard a voice say 'Zuul', it was right here!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well I'm sorry, I'm just not registering anything.
Dana Barrett: Well are you sure you're using that thing correctly?!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, I think so...
Dana Barrett: This is terrific! I either have a monster in my refrigerator or I'm completely crazy.
Dr. Peter Venkman: (smiles) I don't think you're crazy.
Dana Barrett: (sarcastically) Oh, that makes me feel so much better.

Gozer: Are you a god?

Man at Elevator: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut?
Dr. Peter Venkman: No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve.
Man at Elevator: That's gotta be some cockroach.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Entering elevator] Going up?
Man at Elevator: I'll take the next one.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.
Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Dana Barrett: You know, you don't act like a scientist.
Dr. Peter Venkman: They're kind of stiff.
Dana Barrett: You're more like a game show host.

[Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door.]
Dana Barrett: Are you the keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of.
[She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again.]
Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes! Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: I think we better split up.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way.

[Evaluating a site for their business.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: What do you think, Egon?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey! Does this pole still work?
[slides down a fireman's pole]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wow. This place is great! When can we move in? You gotta try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey! We should stay here. Tonight! Sleep here! You know, to try it out!
Dr. Peter Venkman: I think we'll take it.

[Business is terrible at Ghostbusters.]
Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious... You do?... You have?... No kidding. Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you
[hangs up]
Janine Melnitz: WE GOT ONE!!

Dr. Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr Stay Puff's OK, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.

[After the Ghostbusters fail to "get" the library ghost and instead run away in terror.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole plan. I like it; it was scientific.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Mother pus bucket!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: My parents left me that house. I was born there!
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages nowadays.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.

Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Why?
Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal.
Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon.

Dr. Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.
Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Listen! You smell something?

Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Dr. Peter Venkman: 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No job is too big, no fee is too big.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off man. I'm a scientist.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This chick is *toast*.

Janine Melnitz: Do you have any hobbies?
Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus.
Janine Melnitz: That's very fascinating. I like to read a lot myself.
Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of that time you tried to drill a hole in your head.
Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense of course.

Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities.
Dr. Peter Venkman: But the kids love us!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Where do these stairs go?
Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up.

[Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.

Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.

Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me!

[Persuading the mayor to let them stop a supernatural upheaval.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: If we're wrong, we go to jail---peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters.

[Explaining the chaos in the city to the mayor after EPA official Walter Peck turned off the power to confinement repository]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine, until dickless here cut off the power grid!
Mayor: Is that true?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, Your Honor, this man has no dick.

Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis?
Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say.

[Dana is possessed by The Gatekeeper.]
Dana Barrett: Do you want this body?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question?

Winston Zeddemore: Do you believe in God?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Never met him.

Janine Melnitz: Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley?
Louis: [to Egon] Do I?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some.
Louis: [to Janine] Yes, have some.

Dr. Egon Spengler: Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?
Vince Klortho: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

Dr. Peter Venkman: NOBODY steps on a church in my town!

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.

Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown!

[In a TV commercial]
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic?
Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?
Dr. Raymond Stantz: If the answer is "yes," then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals...
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters!
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs.
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: We're ready to believe you!

Winston Zeddemore: I'm Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white!

Dr. Peter Venkman: All right, this chick is TOAST! Okay sticks?
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: PULLED 'EM!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up!
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Bang 'em hard!
Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon.
Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big?
Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything. You've never been in the private sector. They expect *results*.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.

Janine Melnitz: I've quit better jobs than this.
[answers phone]
Janine Melnitz: Ghostbusters, what do you want?!

[Janine opens the front door and sees a policeman.]
Janine Melnitz: Dropping off or picking up?

Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: You never studied.

[After Venkman's close encounter with a ghost.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky.

[A giant marshmallow man crashes through the streets of New York]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, there's something you don't see every day.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is about to face a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical?"
Dr. Raymond Stantz: We mean real wrath-of-God type stuff. Plagues, darkness--
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes--
Dr. Peter Venkman: Riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

Janine Melnitz: I think it's great that you're looking after that man. You're a real humanitarian.
Dr. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human.

Dr. Egon Spengler: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue.
Louis Tully: Uh, okay.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh?

[The Ghostbusters HQ blows up]
Louis: It is time! This is the sign!
Janine Melnitz: It's a sign alright - "Going out of business"!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon!, your mucus.

Dr. Peter Venkman: I must say, you've finally gone around the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running the ass off me by greeting every shcizo in the tri-state area. What have you seen
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an unexplained, unseen mass sponge migration!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Ugh. Ray, the sponges migrated about a foot-and-a-half.

Dr. Peter Venkman: And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a geek, thought I was a creep, she probably wasn't even a person.

Dr. Raymond Stantz: Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central.
Dr. Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's my client and she sleeps above her covers- FOUR FEET above her covers. She barks, she claws, she drools...

[After nearly being crushed by a falling bookcase]
Dr. Peter Venkman: This ever happen to you?
[Ray shakes his head]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh. First time?
[Ray nods]

Dr. Peter Venkman: I want to talk to Dana.
Dana Barrett: [In Demon Voice] There is no "Dana" only Zuul!!

Dr. Egon Spengler: YOUR MOTHER!!

Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you Egon.
[pulls out candy bar]
Dr. Peter Venkman: You....You've earned it

Dr. Peter Venkman: To our first costumer.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: To our first and only costumer.
Dr. Peter Venkman: I need to draw some petty cash. I wanna take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her.
Dr. Raymond Stantz: Um, this magnificent feast represents the last of the petty cash.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Chew your food, don't swallow.

[Louis is being chased by a demon dog.]
Louis: [frightened] I'm going bring this up with the Tenant's Association! You're not supposed to have pets in the building!

[Dana is possessed.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people.
[Dana starts passionately making out with him.]
Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule...

Test Subject: What are you trying to prove here anyway?
Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effects of negative reinforcement on E.S.P ability
Test subject: The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is, it's pissing me off!




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - G Ghostbusters [Inspecting Dana's refrigerator for paranormal activity] Dr. Peter Venkman: Ugh! Look at all the junk food! Dana Barrett: Dammit! Dr. Peter Venkman: You eat this? Dana Barrett: None of this was here, it was a giant space and there were creatures, and they were growling, and I heard a voice say 'Zuul', it was right here! Dr. Peter Venkman: Well I'm sorry, I'm just not registering anything. Dana Barrett: Well are you sure you're using that thing correctly?! Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah, I think so... Dana Barrett: This is terrific! I either have a monster in my refrigerator or I'm completely crazy. Dr. Peter Venkman: (smiles) I don't think you're crazy. Dana Barrett: (sarcastically) Oh, that makes me feel so much better. Gozer: Are you a god? Man at Elevator: What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut? Dr. Peter Venkman: No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve. Man at Elevator: That's gotta be some cockroach. Dr. Peter Venkman: Bite your head off, man. Dr. Raymond Stantz: [Entering elevator] Going up? Man at Elevator: I'll take the next one. Dr. Raymond Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment. Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself. Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now. Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back. Dana Barrett: You know, you don't act like a scientist. Dr. Peter Venkman: They're kind of stiff. Dana Barrett: You're more like a game show host. [Dana, possessed by "The Gatekeeper," answers the door.] Dana Barrett: Are you the keymaster? Dr. Peter Venkman: Not that I know of. [She slams the door in his face. Venkman knocks again.] Dana Barrett: Are you the Keymaster? Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes! Actually I'm a friend of his, he asked me to meet him here. Dr. Raymond Stantz: I think we better split up. Dr. Egon Spengler: Good idea. Dr. Peter Venkman: Yeah... we can do more damage that way. [Evaluating a site for their business.] Dr. Peter Venkman: What do you think, Egon? Dr. Egon Spengler: I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Hey! Does this pole still work? [slides down a fireman's pole] Dr. Raymond Stantz: Wow. This place is great! When can we move in? You gotta try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. Hey! We should stay here. Tonight! Sleep here! You know, to try it out! Dr. Peter Venkman: I think we'll take it. [Business is terrible at Ghostbusters.] Janine Melnitz: [answers the phone] Hello, Ghostbusters... Yes, of course they're serious... You do?... You have?... No kidding. Just gimme the address... Oh sure, they will be totally discreet. Thank you [hangs up] Janine Melnitz: WE GOT ONE!! Dr. Peter Venkman: We've been going about this all wrong, this Mr Stay Puff's OK, he's a sailor, he's in New York, we get this guy laid we won't have any trouble. Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon... what've you got left? Dr. Egon Spengler: Sorry, Venkman, I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. [After the Ghostbusters fail to "get" the library ghost and instead run away in terror.] Dr. Peter Venkman: Hee hee! "Get her!" That was your whole plan. I like it; it was scientific. Dr. Peter Venkman: Mother pus bucket! Dr. Raymond Stantz: My parents left me that house. I was born there! Dr. Peter Venkman: You're not gonna lose the house, everybody has three mortgages nowadays. Dr. Egon Spengler: I feel like the floor of a taxi cab. Dr. Egon Spengler: There's something very important I forgot to tell you. Dr. Peter Venkman: What? Dr. Egon Spengler: Don't cross the streams. Dr. Peter Venkman: Why? Dr. Egon Spengler: It would be bad. Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean "bad"? Dr. Egon Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Total protonic reversal. Dr. Peter Venkman: That's bad. Okay. Alright, important safety tip, thanks Egon. Dr. Peter Venkman: We came, we saw, we kicked its ass! Dr. Peter Venkman: Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it? Dr. Raymond Stantz: Symmetrical book stacking. Just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. Dr. Peter Venkman: You're right, no human being would stack books like this. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Listen! You smell something? Dr. Peter Venkman: I don't have to take this abuse from you, I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me. Dr. Peter Venkman: 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No job is too big, no fee is too big. Dr. Peter Venkman: Back off man. I'm a scientist. Dr. Peter Venkman: This chick is toast. Janine Melnitz: Do you have any hobbies? Dr. Egon Spengler: I collect spores, molds, and fungus. Janine Melnitz: That's very fascinating. I like to read a lot myself. Dr. Egon Spengler: Print is dead. Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon, this reminds me of that time you tried to drill a hole in your head. Dr. Egon Spengler: That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Well, this is great. If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense of course. Dean Yeager: This university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities. Dr. Peter Venkman: But the kids love us! Dr. Raymond Stantz: Where do these stairs go? Dr. Peter Venkman: They go up. [Dana has described seeing a terror dog in her refrigerator.] Dr. Peter Venkman: Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there. Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime. Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me! [Persuading the mayor to let them stop a supernatural upheaval.] Dr. Peter Venkman: If we're wrong, we go to jail---peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing, Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters. [Explaining the chaos in the city to the mayor after EPA official Walter Peck turned off the power to confinement repository] Dr. Raymond Stantz: Everything was fine, until dickless here cut off the power grid! Mayor: Is that true? Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes, Your Honor, this man has no dick. Janine Melnitz: Do you believe in UFOs, astral projections, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis? Winston Zeddemore: Ah, if there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. [Dana is possessed by The Gatekeeper.] Dana Barrett: Do you want this body? Dr. Peter Venkman: Is this a trick question? Winston Zeddemore: Do you believe in God? Dr. Raymond Stantz: Never met him. Janine Melnitz: Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tulley? Louis: [to Egon] Do I? Dr. Egon Spengler: Yes, have some. Louis: [to Janine] Yes, have some. Dr. Egon Spengler: Vince, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for? Vince Klortho: Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you! Dr. Peter Venkman: NOBODY steps on a church in my town! Dr. Raymond Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian: good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activities and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension. Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES! Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown! [In a TV commercial] Dr. Raymond Stantz: Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? Dr. Egon Spengler: Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic? Dr. Peter Venkman: Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost? Dr. Raymond Stantz: If the answer is "yes," then don't wait another minute. Pick up the phone and call the professionals... Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: Ghostbusters! Dr. Raymond Stantz: Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs. Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman: We're ready to believe you! Winston Zeddemore: I'm Winston Zeddmore, Your Honor. I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks, but these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white! Dr. Peter Venkman: All right, this chick is TOAST! Okay sticks? Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: PULLED 'EM! Dr. Peter Venkman: Heat 'em up! Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: SMOKIN'! Dr. Peter Venkman: Bang 'em hard! Dr. Raymond Stantz, Dr. Egon Spengler, Winston Zeddemore: READY! Dr. Peter Venkman: Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown. Dr. Egon Spengler: I'm worried, Ray. All my readings point to something big on the horizon. Winston Zeddemore: What do you mean, big? Dr. Egon Spengler: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds. Winston Zeddemore: That's a big Twinkie. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn't have to produce anything. You've never been in the private sector. They expect results. Dr. Peter Venkman: Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. Janine Melnitz: I've quit better jobs than this. [answers phone] Janine Melnitz: Ghostbusters, what do you want?! [Janine opens the front door and sees a policeman.] Janine Melnitz: Dropping off or picking up? Dr. Peter Venkman: Ray, pretend for a moment that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering, or physics, and just tell me what the hell is going on. Dr. Raymond Stantz: You never studied. [After Venkman's close encounter with a ghost.] Dr. Peter Venkman: He slimed me. Dr. Raymond Stantz: That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move? Dr. Peter Venkman: I feel so funky. [A giant marshmallow man crashes through the streets of New York] Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, there's something you don't see every day. Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is about to face a disaster of biblical proportions. Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical?" Dr. Raymond Stantz: We mean real wrath-of-God type stuff. Plagues, darkness-- Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave! Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes-- Dr. Peter Venkman: Riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Janine Melnitz: I think it's great that you're looking after that man. You're a real humanitarian. Dr. Egon Spengler: I don't think he's human. Dr. Egon Spengler: We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue. Louis Tully: Uh, okay. Dr. Peter Venkman: Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh? [The Ghostbusters HQ blows up] Louis: It is time! This is the sign! Janine Melnitz: It's a sign alright - "Going out of business"! Dr. Peter Venkman: Egon!, your mucus. Dr. Peter Venkman: I must say, you've finally gone around the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running the ass off me by greeting every shcizo in the tri-state area. What have you seen Dr. Raymond Stantz: Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an unexplained, unseen mass sponge migration! Dr. Peter Venkman: Ugh. Ray, the sponges migrated about a foot-and-a-half. Dr. Peter Venkman: And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a geek, thought I was a creep, she probably wasn't even a person. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Your girlfriend lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central. Dr. Peter Venkman: She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's my client and she sleeps above her covers- FOUR FEET above her covers. She barks, she claws, she drools... [After nearly being crushed by a falling bookcase] Dr. Peter Venkman: This ever happen to you? [Ray shakes his head] Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh. First time? [Ray nods] Dr. Peter Venkman: I want to talk to Dana. Dana Barrett: [In Demon Voice] There is no "Dana" only Zuul!! Dr. Egon Spengler: YOUR MOTHER!! Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm gonna take back some of the things I said about you Egon. [pulls out candy bar] Dr. Peter Venkman: You....You've earned it Dr. Peter Venkman: To our first costumer. Dr. Raymond Stantz: To our first and only costumer. Dr. Peter Venkman: I need to draw some petty cash. I wanna take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her. Dr. Raymond Stantz: Um, this magnificent feast represents the last of the petty cash. Dr. Peter Venkman: Chew your food, don't swallow. [Louis is being chased by a demon dog.] Louis: [frightened] I'm going bring this up with the Tenant's Association! You're not supposed to have pets in the building! [Dana is possessed.] Dr. Peter Venkman: I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. [Dana starts passionately making out with him.] Dr. Peter Venkman: Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule... Test Subject: What are you trying to prove here anyway? Dr. Peter Venkman: I'm studying the effects of negative reinforcement on E.S.P ability Test subject: The effect? I'll tell you what the effect is, it's pissing me off!