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GoldenEye

Bill Tanner: Seems your hunch was right, 007. It's too bad the Evil Queen of Numbers won't let you play it.....
[M walks in]
M: You were saying?
Bill Tanner: No, I was just...
M: Good, because if I want sarcasm, Mr Tanner, I'll talk to my children thank you very much.

Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun.
James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.

Alec Trevelyan: Hello, James, what an unpleasant surprise.
James Bond: We aim to please.

Alec Trevelyan: So, we're back to where we started, James. The friend or the mission?

Xenia Onatopp: Enjoy it while it lasts.
James Bond: Those are the words I live by.

James Bond: I must say, I've had a lovely evening.
Xenia Onatopp: Well, once again the pleasure was all yours.

Jack Wade: His name's Zukovsky. Tough mother. Big guy with a limp.
James Bond: Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky?
Jack Wade: Yeah, you know him?
James Bond: I gave him the limp.

M: If you don't think I have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong.

Alec Trevelyan: Why can't you be a good boy and just die?
James Bond: You first.

Natalya Simonova: You destroy every vehicle you get into?
James Bond: Standard operating procedure. Boys with toys.

Caroline: James, is it really necessary to drive quite so fast?
James Bond: More often than you'd think.

Miss Moneypenny: You know, this kind of behaviour could qualify as sexual harassment.
James Bond: And what's the penalty for that?
Miss Moneypenny: Some day, you'll have to make good on your innuendos.

Q: And this, I'm particularly proud of - behind the headlights, stinger missiles!
James Bond: Excellent, just the thing for unwinding after a rough day at the office.
Q: Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break traffic laws.

[Q has blown up a dummy with an explosive pen]
Q: Don't say it...
James Bond: The writing is on the wall.
Q: Along with the rest of him.

[Bond draws his gun.]
Alec Trevelyan: Oh, please, James, put it away. It's insulting to think I haven't anticipated your every move.

General Ourumov: Throw down your weapons and come out with your hands above your head.
James Bond: How original.

Dimitri Mishkin: So, how shall we execute you, Mr. Bond?
James Bond: What, no small talk? No chit-chat? You know, that's the problem these days. No one bothers to take the time to give a really sinister interrogation.

Natalya Simonova: How can you be so cold?
James Bond: It's what keeps me alive.
Natalya Simonova: No. It's what keeps you alone.

Alec Trevelyan: I might as well ask if all those vodka martinis silence the screams of all the men you've killed... or if you've found forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women, for the dead ones you failed to protect?

Alec Trevelyan: I set the timers for six minutes. The same six minutes that you gave me.
Natalya Simonova: What does that mean?
James Bond: We have three minutes.

M: You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter who's more interested in my numbers than your instincts.
James Bond: The thought had crossed me.
M: Good, because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, who's boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to the young lady I sent out to evaluate you.
James Bond: Point taken.

Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: He wants to ask ME for a favor! My knee aches every single day! Twice as bad when it is cold. Do you have any idea how long the winter lasts in this country? Tell him, Dmitri.
Bodyguard: Well, it depends--
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: SILENCE!

[repeated line]
Boris Grishenko: I am invincible!

Alec Trevelyan: For England, James?
James Bond: No. For me.

[Ourumov's car has just entered a crowded marketplace.]
General Ourumov: Use the bumper! That's what it's for!

Anna: He wouldn't know a woman if one came up and sat on his head.

James Bond: In London, April's a spring month."
Jack Wade: Oh yeah? And what are you, the weatherman? I mean, for crying out loud... another stiff ass Brit, with your secret codes and your passwords. One of these days you guys are gonna learn to just drop it.

James Bond: It was too easy.
Alec Trevelyan: Half of everything is luck.
James Bond: And the other half?
[Alarms begin to go off]
Alec Trevelyan: Fate.

[after a brief struggle]
Jack Wade: Jack Wade, CIA.
James Bond: James Bond, stiff-assed Brit...

Alec Trevelyan: What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback?

Alec Trevelyan: See you in hell, James.

Alec Trevelyan: [to Natalia] Take a seat, my dear. You know, James and I shared everything. Absolutely everything...to the victor go the spoils.

Alec Trevelyan: Bond is alive?
General Ourumov: He escaped.
Alec Trevelyan: Good for Bond. Bad for you.

Natalya Simonova: What is it with you and moving vehicles?

Alec Trevelyan: You're late, 007.
James Bond: I had to stop in the bathroom.
Alec Trevelyan: Ready to save the world again?
James Bond: After you, 006.

James Bond: Are these pictures live?
[Tanner goes to talk]
M: Unlike the Americans, we prefer not to get our bad news from CNN.

Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: James Bond. Charming, sophisticated secret agent. Shaken by not stirred.
[laughter]
James Bond: I see you havn't lost your sense of humour, Valentin.
[looks around the club]
James Bond: All you need for an audience. Who's strangling the cat?
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: Strangling a cat?
[He looks over and sees his Mistress singing, then shoots right between Bond's legs]
Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: That is Helena, my Mistress.
James Bond: Quite a talented girl.

Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: So Mr Bond, what brings you to my neighborhood? Still working for MI6, or have you decided to join the 21st century? I hear the new M is a lady!

Q: This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the 4 second fuse, another three disarms it.
[Bond takes the pen, clicks three times]
James Bond: How long did you say the fuse was?
[Q takes the pen back and disarms it]
Q: Oh grow up, 007.
James Bond: They always said the pen was mightier than the sword.
Q: Thanks to me they were right!

Q: Now, a typical leather belt...
[Bond is playing with a computer]
Q: Are you finished?
[Bond closes the laptop]
James Bond: Yes.
Q: A typical leather belt...

James Bond: Never seen you after hours, Moneypenny.....stunning. Where were you, out on assignment? Dressing to kill?
Miss Moneypenny: I know you'll find this crushing, 007, but I don't sit at home waiting for an international incident so I can come down here all dressed up just to impress James Bond. If you must know I was out on a date with a gentlemen. We went to the theater together.
James Bond: Moneypenny, I'm devastated.

[Jack Wade borrows Bond's BMW.]
James Bond: Don't touch any of the buttons on the dash.
Jack Wade: I'm just gonna go bombing around in it.
James Bond: That's what I'm afraid of.

[Q appears, wheelchair-bound with his leg in a cast]
James Bond: Morning Q. Sorry about the leg. Skiing?
[Q's leg "cast" fires a rocket across the room]
Q: Hunting!

[Bond picks up a sandwich roll, studying it like a gadget]
Q: Don't touch that!
[Q snatches the roll off him]
Q: That's my lunch!

Xenia Onatopp: Thank you, Mister...
James Bond: Bond, James Bond.

Caroline: I know what you're doing. You're just trying to show off the size of your, err...
James Bond: Engine?
Caroline: Ego.

Caroline: James, I want you to stop this car!
James Bond: Really?
Caroline: Stop this car at once!
[Bond yanks the handbrake up and the car skids to a complete stop]

Natalya Simonova: Who are you?
James Bond: I work for the British Government. The more you tell me the more I can help you.

Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: [as Bond draws a gun to his head] Walther PPK, 7.5 millimeter. Only three men I know of use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them.
James Bond: Lucky me.

Jack Wade: Let me guess this straight - you shot him in the leg, stole his car, took his girl. And now you want Valentin Zukovsky to set you up with Yanis? What are you going to do, appeal to his heart?
James Bond: No, his wallet.
Jack Wade: Now that might work.

James Bond: She always did enjoy a good squeeze.




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - G GoldenEye Bill Tanner: Seems your hunch was right, 007. It's too bad the Evil Queen of Numbers won't let you play it..... [M walks in] M: You were saying? Bill Tanner: No, I was just... M: Good, because if I want sarcasm, Mr Tanner, I'll talk to my children thank you very much. Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun. James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex. Alec Trevelyan: Hello, James, what an unpleasant surprise. James Bond: We aim to please. Alec Trevelyan: So, we're back to where we started, James. The friend or the mission? Xenia Onatopp: Enjoy it while it lasts. James Bond: Those are the words I live by. James Bond: I must say, I've had a lovely evening. Xenia Onatopp: Well, once again the pleasure was all yours. Jack Wade: His name's Zukovsky. Tough mother. Big guy with a limp. James Bond: Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky? Jack Wade: Yeah, you know him? James Bond: I gave him the limp. M: If you don't think I have the balls to send a man out to die, your instincts are dead wrong. Alec Trevelyan: Why can't you be a good boy and just die? James Bond: You first. Natalya Simonova: You destroy every vehicle you get into? James Bond: Standard operating procedure. Boys with toys. Caroline: James, is it really necessary to drive quite so fast? James Bond: More often than you'd think. Miss Moneypenny: You know, this kind of behaviour could qualify as sexual harassment. James Bond: And what's the penalty for that? Miss Moneypenny: Some day, you'll have to make good on your innuendos. Q: And this, I'm particularly proud of - behind the headlights, stinger missiles! James Bond: Excellent, just the thing for unwinding after a rough day at the office. Q: Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break traffic laws. [Q has blown up a dummy with an explosive pen] Q: Don't say it... James Bond: The writing is on the wall. Q: Along with the rest of him. [Bond draws his gun.] Alec Trevelyan: Oh, please, James, put it away. It's insulting to think I haven't anticipated your every move. General Ourumov: Throw down your weapons and come out with your hands above your head. James Bond: How original. Dimitri Mishkin: So, how shall we execute you, Mr. Bond? James Bond: What, no small talk? No chit-chat? You know, that's the problem these days. No one bothers to take the time to give a really sinister interrogation. Natalya Simonova: How can you be so cold? James Bond: It's what keeps me alive. Natalya Simonova: No. It's what keeps you alone. Alec Trevelyan: I might as well ask if all those vodka martinis silence the screams of all the men you've killed... or if you've found forgiveness in the arms of all those willing women, for the dead ones you failed to protect? Alec Trevelyan: I set the timers for six minutes. The same six minutes that you gave me. Natalya Simonova: What does that mean? James Bond: We have three minutes. M: You don't like me, Bond. You don't like my methods. You think I'm an accountant, a bean counter who's more interested in my numbers than your instincts. James Bond: The thought had crossed me. M: Good, because I think you're a sexist, misogynist dinosaur. A relic of the Cold War, who's boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to the young lady I sent out to evaluate you. James Bond: Point taken. Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: He wants to ask ME for a favor! My knee aches every single day! Twice as bad when it is cold. Do you have any idea how long the winter lasts in this country? Tell him, Dmitri. Bodyguard: Well, it depends-- Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: SILENCE! [repeated line] Boris Grishenko: I am invincible! Alec Trevelyan: For England, James? James Bond: No. For me. [Ourumov's car has just entered a crowded marketplace.] General Ourumov: Use the bumper! That's what it's for! Anna: He wouldn't know a woman if one came up and sat on his head. James Bond: In London, April's a spring month." Jack Wade: Oh yeah? And what are you, the weatherman? I mean, for crying out loud... another stiff ass Brit, with your secret codes and your passwords. One of these days you guys are gonna learn to just drop it. James Bond: It was too easy. Alec Trevelyan: Half of everything is luck. James Bond: And the other half? [Alarms begin to go off] Alec Trevelyan: Fate. [after a brief struggle] Jack Wade: Jack Wade, CIA. James Bond: James Bond, stiff-assed Brit... Alec Trevelyan: What's the matter, James? No glib remark? No pithy comeback? Alec Trevelyan: See you in hell, James. Alec Trevelyan: [to Natalia] Take a seat, my dear. You know, James and I shared everything. Absolutely everything...to the victor go the spoils. Alec Trevelyan: Bond is alive? General Ourumov: He escaped. Alec Trevelyan: Good for Bond. Bad for you. Natalya Simonova: What is it with you and moving vehicles? Alec Trevelyan: You're late, 007. James Bond: I had to stop in the bathroom. Alec Trevelyan: Ready to save the world again? James Bond: After you, 006. James Bond: Are these pictures live? [Tanner goes to talk] M: Unlike the Americans, we prefer not to get our bad news from CNN. Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: James Bond. Charming, sophisticated secret agent. Shaken by not stirred. [laughter] James Bond: I see you havn't lost your sense of humour, Valentin. [looks around the club] James Bond: All you need for an audience. Who's strangling the cat? Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: Strangling a cat? [He looks over and sees his Mistress singing, then shoots right between Bond's legs] Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: That is Helena, my Mistress. James Bond: Quite a talented girl. Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: So Mr Bond, what brings you to my neighborhood? Still working for MI6, or have you decided to join the 21st century? I hear the new M is a lady! Q: This is a Class 4 grenade. Three clicks arms the 4 second fuse, another three disarms it. [Bond takes the pen, clicks three times] James Bond: How long did you say the fuse was? [Q takes the pen back and disarms it] Q: Oh grow up, 007. James Bond: They always said the pen was mightier than the sword. Q: Thanks to me they were right! Q: Now, a typical leather belt... [Bond is playing with a computer] Q: Are you finished? [Bond closes the laptop] James Bond: Yes. Q: A typical leather belt... James Bond: Never seen you after hours, Moneypenny.....stunning. Where were you, out on assignment? Dressing to kill? Miss Moneypenny: I know you'll find this crushing, 007, but I don't sit at home waiting for an international incident so I can come down here all dressed up just to impress James Bond. If you must know I was out on a date with a gentlemen. We went to the theater together. James Bond: Moneypenny, I'm devastated. [Jack Wade borrows Bond's BMW.] James Bond: Don't touch any of the buttons on the dash. Jack Wade: I'm just gonna go bombing around in it. James Bond: That's what I'm afraid of. [Q appears, wheelchair-bound with his leg in a cast] James Bond: Morning Q. Sorry about the leg. Skiing? [Q's leg "cast" fires a rocket across the room] Q: Hunting! [Bond picks up a sandwich roll, studying it like a gadget] Q: Don't touch that! [Q snatches the roll off him] Q: That's my lunch! Xenia Onatopp: Thank you, Mister... James Bond: Bond, James Bond. Caroline: I know what you're doing. You're just trying to show off the size of your, err... James Bond: Engine? Caroline: Ego. Caroline: James, I want you to stop this car! James Bond: Really? Caroline: Stop this car at once! [Bond yanks the handbrake up and the car skids to a complete stop] Natalya Simonova: Who are you? James Bond: I work for the British Government. The more you tell me the more I can help you. Valentin Dmitrovitch Zukovsky: [as Bond draws a gun to his head] Walther PPK, 7.5 millimeter. Only three men I know of use such a gun. I believe I've killed two of them. James Bond: Lucky me. Jack Wade: Let me guess this straight - you shot him in the leg, stole his car, took his girl. And now you want Valentin Zukovsky to set you up with Yanis? What are you going to do, appeal to his heart? James Bond: No, his wallet. Jack Wade: Now that might work. James Bond: She always did enjoy a good squeeze.