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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Harry: Voldemort killed my parents, he was nothing more than a murderer.
Lucius Malfoy: Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name....or very foolish.

Ron: They were starving him, Mum! There were bars on his window!
Mrs. Weasley: You'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley!

Draco Malfoy: Why are you wearing glasses?
Harry: [disguised as Goyle] Uhh.. Reading.
Draco Malfoy: Reading? I didn't know you could read.

Hermione: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.

Lockhart: AMAZING! This is just like magic!

Tom Marvolo Riddle: Voldemort is my past, present, and future.

Harry: [to Dobby] Never try to save my life again.

Ron: Follow the spiders. Follow the spiders. If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!

Harry: Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time for me to have a house elf in my bedroom.

Dumbledore: It is not our abilities that show what we truly are ... it is our choices.

Mrs. Weasley: Your sons drove that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night.
Arthur Weasley: [To the boys] Did you really? How did it go?
[Mrs. Weasley hits him]
Arthur Weasley: I mean, that was very wrong indeed boys. Very wrong of you.

Prof. Sprout: Oh, Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs!
Seamus Finnigan: No, ma'am, he's fainted.
Prof. Sprout: [pauses and sighs] Yes, well, just leave him there!

Lockhart: Hello. Who are you?
Ron: Ron Weasley.
Lockhart: Really? And, er, who am I?
Ron: [to Harry] Lockhart's Memory Charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is!
Lockhart: [picks up a rock] It's an odd place isn't it? Do you live here?
Ron: [takes rock from Lockhart] No.
[hits Lockhart on the head with rock, knocking him out]

Moaning Myrtle: Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet.
Harry: Uh . . . thanks, Myrtle.

Ron: You'll pay for that one, Malfoy! Eat slugs!

Neville Longbottom: Why is it always me?

Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be?
Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent! And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist.

[As Ron spits out slugs]
Hagrid: Better out than in.

Tom Marvolo Riddle: Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl.

Tom Marvolo Riddle: How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?

Lucius Malfoy: Let me see; red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand books, you must be the Weasleys.

Arthur Weasley: Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck?

Ron: [in high voice] My wand! Look at my wand!
Harry: Be thankful it's not your neck.

Ron: Say it, I'm doomed.
Harry: You're doomed.

Draco Malfoy: Famous Harry Potter...Can't even go into a book shop without making the front page.

Draco Malfoy: The last time The Chamber of secrets was opened a Mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me...I hope it's Granger.

Ron: Dad loves muggles, he thinks they're fascinating.

Hermione: Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign.

Moaning Myrtle: I'm Moaning Myrtle. I wouldn't expect you to know me. Who would ever want to talk about ugly, miserable, moping, moaning Myrtle. AHHH!
Hermione: She's a little sensitive.

Harry: You better clear out before my bones grow back, I'm might strangle you.
Dobby: Dobby is used to death threats, he gets them five times a day at home.

Harry: It's a snake skin.
Ron: Bloody hell! Whoever shed this must be 60 feet long, or more!
[Gilderoy Lockhart passes out]
Ron: [to Harry] Heart of a lion, this one.

Draco Malfoy: What are you doing Potter? Training for the ballet?

Hermione: Look. Hagrid's our friend, why don't we just go and ask him about it?
Ron: Oh, that'd be a cheerful visit. 'Tell us, , have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?'
[Hagrid has walked up behind them]
Hagrid: Mad and hairy? Yer wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya?
Ron, Hermione, Harry: No!

Lucius Malfoy: Let us hope, Mr. Potter, that you will always be around to save the day.
Harry: Oh don't worry, I will be.

Draco Malfoy: Scared Potter?
Harry: You wish.

Filch: Well, I'd take a good look lads. This night might be the last you spend in this castle. Oh dear, we are in trouble.

Hermione: He called me a Mudblood.
Hagrid: He did not!

Harry: Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren't exactly accustomed to seeing a flying car!

[To Tom Riddle]
Harry: [smiling] I bet Dumbledore saw right through you!

Harry: Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world!
Tom Marvolo Riddle: Dumbledore has been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me!

The Sorting Hat: Bee in your bonnet, Potter?
Harry: I was just wondering, whether you put me into the right house?
The Sorting Hat: Yes, you were particularly difficult to place, but I stand on what I said last year: You would have done well in Slytherin.
Harry: You're wrong.

Harry: But I haven't received any messages, from any of my friends. Not one, all summer.
Dudley Dursley: Who'd want to be friends with you?

Hagrid: [to invisible Harry and Ron] If, er, anybody was looking for some stuff, then all they have to do is follow the spiders. Yep. That'd lead 'em right. That's all I have to say. Oh, and someone'll need ter feed Fang while I'm away.

Ron: Maybe we could trick Crabbe and Goyle into telling us if Malfoy is the Heir of Slytherin.
Hermione: Even THEY aren't that thick.

Harry: There's no Hogwarts without you Hagrid.

Ginny: Mummy, have you seen my jumper?
Mrs. Weasley: Yes dear, it was on the cat.

Mrs. Weasley: Now don't forget to speak very, very clearly.
Harry: Diagonally!
[Harry vanishes]
Mrs. Weasley: What did he say dear?
Arthur Weasley: Diagonally.
Mrs. Weasley: I thought he did.

Lockhart: Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me answer my fan mail?
Harry: Not really.
Lockhart: Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that.

Professor Snape: Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox.

Harry: Your bird, there was nothing I could do. He just caught fire.
Dumbledore: Oh, and about time too. He's been looking dreadful for days. Pity you had to see him on a burning day.

Lockhart: Books can be misleading!
Harry: You wrote them!
Lockhart: My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'D done all these things!

[After Harry pushes him down into the Chamber]
Lockhart: It's really quite filthy down here.

Hermoine: Do you think he's alright?
Ron: Who cares?

Tom Marvolo Riddle: So this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender. A songbird and an old hat.

Tom Marvolo Riddle: Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter.

Dobby: Dobby is very sorry, Dobby had to iron his hands...

Lockhart: Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to protect yourself, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works.

Hermione: Look at my face.
Ron: Look at your tail!

[After the attack on Mrs. Norris]
Professor Snape: If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don' recall seeing Potter at dinner.
Lockhart: That was my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - H Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"? Harry: Voldemort killed my parents, he was nothing more than a murderer. Lucius Malfoy: Hmm, you must be very brave to mention his name....or very foolish. Ron: They were starving him, Mum! There were bars on his window! Mrs. Weasley: You'd best hope I don't put bars on your window, Ronald Weasley! Draco Malfoy: Why are you wearing glasses? Harry: [disguised as Goyle] Uhh.. Reading. Draco Malfoy: Reading? I didn't know you could read. Hermione: Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself. Lockhart: AMAZING! This is just like magic! Tom Marvolo Riddle: Voldemort is my past, present, and future. Harry: [to Dobby] Never try to save my life again. Ron: Follow the spiders. Follow the spiders. If Hagrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him! Harry: Not to be rude or anything, but this isn't a great time for me to have a house elf in my bedroom. Dumbledore: It is not our abilities that show what we truly are ... it is our choices. Mrs. Weasley: Your sons drove that enchanted car of yours to Surrey and back last night. Arthur Weasley: [To the boys] Did you really? How did it go? [Mrs. Weasley hits him] Arthur Weasley: I mean, that was very wrong indeed boys. Very wrong of you. Prof. Sprout: Oh, Longbottom's been neglecting his earmuffs! Seamus Finnigan: No, ma'am, he's fainted. Prof. Sprout: [pauses and sighs] Yes, well, just leave him there! Lockhart: Hello. Who are you? Ron: Ron Weasley. Lockhart: Really? And, er, who am I? Ron: [to Harry] Lockhart's Memory Charm backfired! He hasn't got a clue who he is! Lockhart: [picks up a rock] It's an odd place isn't it? Do you live here? Ron: [takes rock from Lockhart] No. [hits Lockhart on the head with rock, knocking him out] Moaning Myrtle: Oh, Harry? If you die down there, you're welcome to share my toilet. Harry: Uh . . . thanks, Myrtle. Ron: You'll pay for that one, Malfoy! Eat slugs! Neville Longbottom: Why is it always me? Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be? Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door. Uncle Vernon: Excellent! And you? Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist. [As Ron spits out slugs] Hagrid: Better out than in. Tom Marvolo Riddle: Funny, the damage a silly little book can do, especially in the hands of a silly little girl. Tom Marvolo Riddle: How is it that a baby with no extraordinary magical talent was able to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed? Lucius Malfoy: Let me see; red hair, vacant expressions, tatty second-hand books, you must be the Weasleys. Arthur Weasley: Now, Harry you must know all about Muggles, tell me, what exactly is the function of a rubber duck? Ron: [in high voice] My wand! Look at my wand! Harry: Be thankful it's not your neck. Ron: Say it, I'm doomed. Harry: You're doomed. Draco Malfoy: Famous Harry Potter...Can't even go into a book shop without making the front page. Draco Malfoy: The last time The Chamber of secrets was opened a Mudblood died. So it's only a matter of time before one of them is killed this time. As for me...I hope it's Granger. Ron: Dad loves muggles, he thinks they're fascinating. Hermione: Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign. Moaning Myrtle: I'm Moaning Myrtle. I wouldn't expect you to know me. Who would ever want to talk about ugly, miserable, moping, moaning Myrtle. AHHH! Hermione: She's a little sensitive. Harry: You better clear out before my bones grow back, I'm might strangle you. Dobby: Dobby is used to death threats, he gets them five times a day at home. Harry: It's a snake skin. Ron: Bloody hell! Whoever shed this must be 60 feet long, or more! [Gilderoy Lockhart passes out] Ron: [to Harry] Heart of a lion, this one. Draco Malfoy: What are you doing Potter? Training for the ballet? Hermione: Look. Hagrid's our friend, why don't we just go and ask him about it? Ron: Oh, that'd be a cheerful visit. 'Tell us, , have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?' [Hagrid has walked up behind them] Hagrid: Mad and hairy? Yer wouldn't be talkin' about me, now would ya? Ron, Hermione, Harry: No! Lucius Malfoy: Let us hope, Mr. Potter, that you will always be around to save the day. Harry: Oh don't worry, I will be. Draco Malfoy: Scared Potter? Harry: You wish. Filch: Well, I'd take a good look lads. This night might be the last you spend in this castle. Oh dear, we are in trouble. Hermione: He called me a Mudblood. Hagrid: He did not! Harry: Ron, I should tell you, most Muggles aren't exactly accustomed to seeing a flying car! [To Tom Riddle] Harry: [smiling] I bet Dumbledore saw right through you! Harry: Albus Dumbledore is the greatest sorcerer in the world! Tom Marvolo Riddle: Dumbledore has been driven out of this castle by the mere memory of me! The Sorting Hat: Bee in your bonnet, Potter? Harry: I was just wondering, whether you put me into the right house? The Sorting Hat: Yes, you were particularly difficult to place, but I stand on what I said last year: You would have done well in Slytherin. Harry: You're wrong. Harry: But I haven't received any messages, from any of my friends. Not one, all summer. Dudley Dursley: Who'd want to be friends with you? Hagrid: [to invisible Harry and Ron] If, er, anybody was looking for some stuff, then all they have to do is follow the spiders. Yep. That'd lead 'em right. That's all I have to say. Oh, and someone'll need ter feed Fang while I'm away. Ron: Maybe we could trick Crabbe and Goyle into telling us if Malfoy is the Heir of Slytherin. Hermione: Even THEY aren't that thick. Harry: There's no Hogwarts without you Hagrid. Ginny: Mummy, have you seen my jumper? Mrs. Weasley: Yes dear, it was on the cat. Mrs. Weasley: Now don't forget to speak very, very clearly. Harry: Diagonally! [Harry vanishes] Mrs. Weasley: What did he say dear? Arthur Weasley: Diagonally. Mrs. Weasley: I thought he did. Lockhart: Harry, Harry, Harry. Can you possibly imagine a better way to serve detention, than by helping me answer my fan mail? Harry: Not really. Lockhart: Fame is a fickle friend Harry. Celebrity is as celebrity does. Remember that. Professor Snape: Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox. Harry: Your bird, there was nothing I could do. He just caught fire. Dumbledore: Oh, and about time too. He's been looking dreadful for days. Pity you had to see him on a burning day. Lockhart: Books can be misleading! Harry: You wrote them! Lockhart: My dear boy, do use your common sense! My books wouldn't have sold half as well if people didn't think I'D done all these things! [After Harry pushes him down into the Chamber] Lockhart: It's really quite filthy down here. Hermoine: Do you think he's alright? Ron: Who cares? Tom Marvolo Riddle: So this is what Dumbledore sends his great defender. A songbird and an old hat. Tom Marvolo Riddle: Let's match the powers of Lord Voldemort, Heir of Salazar Slytherin, against the famous Harry Potter. Dobby: Dobby is very sorry, Dobby had to iron his hands... Lockhart: Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little dueling club, to train you all up, in case you ever need to protect yourself, as I myself have done on countless occasions. For full details, see my published works. Hermione: Look at my face. Ron: Look at your tail! [After the attack on Mrs. Norris] Professor Snape: If I might, Headmaster. Perhaps Potter and his friends were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, the circumstances are suspicious. I, for one, don' recall seeing Potter at dinner. Lockhart: That was my doing, Severus. You see, Harry was helping me answer my fan mail.