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High Fidelity

Barry: We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five.

Rob: How does he do it, you ask. How does
[stops, whispers]
Rob: how does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district? He's grumpy, he's broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins..
[shrugs]

Rob: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelies and the Palestinians.
Laura: No, it's really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records.
Rob: Made! Made! Marvin Gaye is dead. His father shot him!

Rob: Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.

Laura: I'm too tired not to be with you.
Rob: What, so if you had a bit more energy we'd stay split up, but things being as they are, with you being wiped out and all, you want to get back together? Is that it?
Laura: Yeah.

Laura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm.
Rob: No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later.
Laura: Right. It'll have to be sex, then.
Rob: Right. Right.

Barry: Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater.
[Imitating Cosby]
Barry: A Cosssssssby sweater! Did Laura let you leave the house like that?

Rob: I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago.

Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Rob: It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one.

Rob: Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead.

Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that?
Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian--
Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass!

Barry: Is it better to burn out or fade away?

Rob: I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments.

Rob: It wasn't boring. But it wasn't spectacular either? It was just- Good. Very good.

[After Rob turns off Barry's tape]
Barry: Ok buddy, uh, I was just tryin' to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care.

Rob: I don't wanna hear old sad bastard music Barry, I just want something I can ignore.

Barry: Here's the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for YOU....SPECIAL!!!

Rob: Well it's fucking Monday afternoon, you should get out of bed earlier!!

Rob: The perfect couple if you ask me is the Cosmo woman and the fourteen year-old b-b-b-boy.

Vince: Ooh! You're pretty when you're angry!

Rob: But I have to say my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash's autobiography, Cash by Johnny Cash.

Rob: Charlene, you fucking bitch! Let's work it out!

Barry's Customer: Hi, do you have the song "I Just Called To Say I Love You?" It's for my daughter's birthday.
Barry: Yea we have it.
Barry's Customer: Well, can I have it? Barry. No, actually, you can't.
Barry's Customer: Why not?!
Barry: God! Do you even know your daughter? There's no way she likes that song! Oop, is she in a coma?

Rob: If you *really* wanted to screw me up, you should've gotten to me *earlier*!

Rob: [lying in bed imagining the scene] You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head.

Rob: Get your patchouli stink outta my store!!

Rob: Where's Ian? Or Ray, or... what is his fucking name, anyway? What do you call him, Ian or Ray?
Laura: Ray. I hate Ian.
Rob: I hate him too.
Laura: Yeah... I'm sure.

Barry: Let 'em riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey!

Rob: The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done.

Rob: Jon Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies.

Laura: [preparing to have sex with Rob in a car] I knew there was a reason I wore a skirt today.

Rob: My desert island, all-time top-five most memorable breakups, in chronological order, are as follows: Alison Ashmore; Penny Hardwick; Jackie Alden; Charlie Nicholson; and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name on that list, Laura? Maybe you'd sneak into the top five, sorry! Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliation and heartbreak you're just not capable of delivering.

Rob: I want more, I wanna see the others on the big top-five. I want to see Penny and Charlie and Sarah, all of them. You know? Just see 'em and talk to 'em. You know, like a Bruce Springsteen song.
Bruce Springsteen: You call, you ask them how they are and see if they've forgiven you.
Rob: Yeah, and then I feel good. And they feel good.
Bruce Springsteen: They'd feel good, maybe. But you feel better.
Rob: I'd feel clean and calm.
Bruce Springsteen: That's what you're looking for, you know, get ready to start again. It'd be good for you.
Rob: Great, even.
Bruce Springsteen: Give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all time top-five and just move on down the road.
Rob: Good luck, Goodbye. Thanks, Boss.

Rob: I could've wound up having sex back there. And what better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you, right? But you wouldn't be sleeping with a person, you'd be sleeping with the whole sad, single-person culture. It'd be like sleeping with Talia Shire in Rocky if you weren't Rocky.

Customer: Do you have Soul?
Rob: That all depends.

Rob: It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were doing that, share a bed with someone at the same time. Only people of a certain disposition are sure they're going to be alone for the rest of their lives at age 26, and we were of that disposition.

Rob: I was jealous of other men in her design department. I became convinced that she was going to leave me for one of them. Then she left me for one of them.

Rob: Why'd you have to tell her about the store?
Barry: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don't have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, not like, a business strategy
[smacks Rob]
Barry: .

Rob: Marvin Gaye!
Laura: I know.
Rob: Let's get it on. That's our song. Marvin Gaye is responsible for our entire relationship.
Laura: Oh, is that so? I'd like a word with him then.

Rob: What if I was doing something that can't be cancelled?
Laura: Rob, what are you ever doing that can't be cancelled?

Rob: Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing.

[Liz walks into the store]
Rob: Hi, Liz.
Liz: Hi, Rob... you FUCKING ASSHOLE!
[leaves]

Rob: I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really...
Laura: Delivers?
Rob: Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so....




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - H High Fidelity Barry: We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but just for tonight, we are Barry Jive and his Uptown Five. Rob: How does he do it, you ask. How does [stops, whispers] Rob: how does an average guy like me become the number one lover-man in his particular postal district? He's grumpy, he's broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins.. [shrugs] Rob: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelies and the Palestinians. Laura: No, it's really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records. Rob: Made! Made! Marvin Gaye is dead. His father shot him! Rob: Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. Laura: I'm too tired not to be with you. Rob: What, so if you had a bit more energy we'd stay split up, but things being as they are, with you being wiped out and all, you want to get back together? Is that it? Laura: Yeah. Laura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else than this. It either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm. Rob: No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later. Laura: Right. It'll have to be sex, then. Rob: Right. Right. Barry: Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater. [Imitating Cosby] Barry: A Cosssssssby sweater! Did Laura let you leave the house like that? Rob: I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago. Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music? Rob: It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated. Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one. Rob: Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs. It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, and asking for 50 grand instead. Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that? Dick: It's the new Belle and Sebastian-- Rob: It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry. Barry: Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass! Barry: Is it better to burn out or fade away? Rob: I can see now I never really committed to Laura. I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing, keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny increments. Rob: It wasn't boring. But it wasn't spectacular either? It was just- Good. Very good. [After Rob turns off Barry's tape] Barry: Ok buddy, uh, I was just tryin' to cheer us up so go ahead. Put on some old sad bastard music, see if I care. Rob: I don't wanna hear old sad bastard music Barry, I just want something I can ignore. Barry: Here's the thing. I made that tape special for today. My special Monday morning for YOU....SPECIAL!!! Rob: Well it's fucking Monday afternoon, you should get out of bed earlier!! Rob: The perfect couple if you ask me is the Cosmo woman and the fourteen year-old b-b-b-boy. Vince: Ooh! You're pretty when you're angry! Rob: But I have to say my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash's autobiography, Cash by Johnny Cash. Rob: Charlene, you fucking bitch! Let's work it out! Barry's Customer: Hi, do you have the song "I Just Called To Say I Love You?" It's for my daughter's birthday. Barry: Yea we have it. Barry's Customer: Well, can I have it? Barry. No, actually, you can't. Barry's Customer: Why not?! Barry: God! Do you even know your daughter? There's no way she likes that song! Oop, is she in a coma? Rob: If you really wanted to screw me up, you should've gotten to me earlier! Rob: [lying in bed imagining the scene] You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film, Laura. You are Ian's plaything, responding to his touch with shrieks of orgasmic delight. No woman in the history of the world is having better sex than sex you are having with Ian... in my head. Rob: Get your patchouli stink outta my store!! Rob: Where's Ian? Or Ray, or... what is his fucking name, anyway? What do you call him, Ian or Ray? Laura: Ray. I hate Ian. Rob: I hate him too. Laura: Yeah... I'm sure. Barry: Let 'em riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death Monkey! Rob: The making of a great compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do and takes ages longer than it might seem. You gotta kick off with a killer, to grab attention. Then you got to take it up a notch, but you don't wanna blow your wad, so then you got to cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. Anyway... I've started to make a tape... in my head... for Laura. Full of stuff she likes. Full of stuff that make her happy. For the first time I can sort of see how that is done. Rob: Jon Dillinger was killed behind that theater in a hale of FBI gunfire. And do you know who tipped them off? His fucking girlfriend. All he wanted to do was go to the movies. Laura: [preparing to have sex with Rob in a car] I knew there was a reason I wore a skirt today. Rob: My desert island, all-time top-five most memorable breakups, in chronological order, are as follows: Alison Ashmore; Penny Hardwick; Jackie Alden; Charlie Nicholson; and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name on that list, Laura? Maybe you'd sneak into the top five, sorry! Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliation and heartbreak you're just not capable of delivering. Rob: I want more, I wanna see the others on the big top-five. I want to see Penny and Charlie and Sarah, all of them. You know? Just see 'em and talk to 'em. You know, like a Bruce Springsteen song. Bruce Springsteen: You call, you ask them how they are and see if they've forgiven you. Rob: Yeah, and then I feel good. And they feel good. Bruce Springsteen: They'd feel good, maybe. But you feel better. Rob: I'd feel clean and calm. Bruce Springsteen: That's what you're looking for, you know, get ready to start again. It'd be good for you. Rob: Great, even. Bruce Springsteen: Give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all time top-five and just move on down the road. Rob: Good luck, Goodbye. Thanks, Boss. Rob: I could've wound up having sex back there. And what better way to exorcise rejection demons than to screw the person who rejected you, right? But you wouldn't be sleeping with a person, you'd be sleeping with the whole sad, single-person culture. It'd be like sleeping with Talia Shire in Rocky if you weren't Rocky. Customer: Do you have Soul? Rob: That all depends. Rob: It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were doing that, share a bed with someone at the same time. Only people of a certain disposition are sure they're going to be alone for the rest of their lives at age 26, and we were of that disposition. Rob: I was jealous of other men in her design department. I became convinced that she was going to leave me for one of them. Then she left me for one of them. Rob: Why'd you have to tell her about the store? Barry: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was classified information. I mean, I know we don't have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, not like, a business strategy [smacks Rob] Barry: . Rob: Marvin Gaye! Laura: I know. Rob: Let's get it on. That's our song. Marvin Gaye is responsible for our entire relationship. Laura: Oh, is that so? I'd like a word with him then. Rob: What if I was doing something that can't be cancelled? Laura: Rob, what are you ever doing that can't be cancelled? Rob: Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing. [Liz walks into the store] Rob: Hi, Liz. Liz: Hi, Rob... you FUCKING ASSHOLE! [leaves] Rob: I'm tired of the fantasy, because it doesn't really exist. And there are never really any surprises, and it never really... Laura: Delivers? Rob: Delivers. And I'm tired of it. And I'm tired of everything else for that matter. But I don't ever seem to get tired of you, so....