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[Instructing Sally to give birth]
Childbirth Instructor: You didn't get pregnant with your legs closed!

Sally: I've always dreamed of being a big hit singer.
Dorian: Oh, can you sing?
Sally: No, that's why they call them dreams.

Dorian: I'd like to be the father-to-be.
Sally: You can't be the father and the brother! That's the kind of thing that messes kids up!

Angus: Mom, what'd you mean when you said Dorian was your favorite?
Mrs. Lever: Oh, Angus, I love you both.
[Holds thumb and forefinger an inch apart]
Mrs. Lever: It's a difference of *this* much.