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Hot Chick, The

Jessica: [after kissing April] I feel so lesbian now.

April: So....can I see it?
Jessica: I don't think you get the gravity of this situation here.
April: Sorry....can I see it? Come on, it's not every day that your best friend grows a penis.

Jessica: Hildenburg, I'm sorry I humiliated you in front of the whole school and the visiting eighth graders, but you have no idea what it's like to be a girl who has to shave her chin every morning.
Hildenburg: [crying] Yes, I do.

[Clive, in Jessica's body, looks at a box of tampons frantically]
Clive (Jessica): I gotta do WHAT?!

Jessica: [on the phone to Billy after becoming a man] I should have made love to you when I had the chance.
Billy: Father Mulcahy?

Jessica: Look at these earrings! I'll be the envy of every girl at prom! Not that that's in jeopardy!

Jessica (Clive): You think you're so cool just because you can pee with your penis!

Obnoxious Guy at Club: Are you the girl who slept with the college guy?
Eden: [annoyed] NO!
Obnoxious Guy at Club: Do you want to be?
Jessica: [in Clive's body] She's not interested, so why don't you just back off?
Obnoxious Guy at Club: You and me outside right now.

Clive (Jessica): [Walking into the bathroom after he has turned into Jessica] WHERE'S MY....?!

Teacher: I'm returning your papers on the Salem Witch Trials. Eden here got the only A.
Jessica: That's not fair. She's the only one who was actually there.

Clive: Fine. I'll give you your body back because it soooo important. Waa waa I'm crying about my body...

Korean Mother: Ling Ling, you forgot your bling bling!