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Jackass: The Movie

[opening line]
Johnny Knoxville: I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to "Jackass"!

Johnny Knoxville: Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and we're about to test my Rocket Skates.

Ryan Dunn: I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.

Spike Jonze: [Acting like an old man on a scooter.] You're a nice man. Would you like to come over for dinner?

Steve-O: Hi it's cold in Japan, so were going to warm ourselves up with some fireworks.

Bam Margera: Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "fuck" by the end of this movie.
[After seeing an alligator in her house]
April Margera: That's the scariest fucking thing I ever saw!

Chris Pontius: I guess I don't have any last words. I'm just gonna kill myself once I lose my wiener.

Chris Pontius: Wait a minute. I already know my fortune, it's partying!

Johnny Knoxville: I think I'm a little concussed.

Chris Pontius: [after being swatted by a puma while wearing a foam rubber mouse costume] I don't like him. He's mean.

Chris Raab: I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete fucking idiot.

Steve-O: You know it's when like your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed" You know that hurt so much more.
[Laughing]

[While viewing the apparatus for the "Bungee Wedgie" stunt]
Rick Kosick: This isn't gonna work!
Jeff Tremaine: It might...

Johnny Knoxville: Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?
Dave England: No man. I shit my pants at the fair.

Johnny Knoxville: Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that.

Johnny Knoxville: I was Lon Chaney's lover!

Bam Margera: Whose dick do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?

Chris Pontius: Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.

Steve-O: We wanted to see if you would run!
Ryan Dunn: I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt.