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Jaws

Hooper: I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

Quint: Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

Mayor Vaughn: Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock!

Quint: [singing] Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies / Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain. / For we received orders for to sail back to Boston / And soon never more will we see you again.

Mayor Vaughn: Martin, it's all psychological. You yell barracuda, everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell shark, we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July.

Quint: You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water, our shark!

Hooper: That's a twenty footer!
Quint: Twenty-five. Three tons of him.

Brody: I can do anything, I'm the chief of police.

Hooper: This was no boat accident!

Quint: You've got city boy hands, Hooper. You been countin' money all your life.
Hooper: I don't need this working-class-hero crap.

[After seeing the shark for the first time]
Brody: [to Quint] We're gonna need a bigger boat.

Brody: It's only an island if you look at it from the water.

Ellen Brody: [upon meeting Matt Hooper] My husband tells me you're in sharks.

Mayor Vaughn: I don't think either of you are familiar with our problems.
Hooper: I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you on the ass!

Hooper: Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.

Quint: Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.

Quint: Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her viginity; not a bad record for this vicinity.

Quint: I know a taxidermy man back home. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him!

Brody: "Slow ahead." I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this shit.

Quint: The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white.

Brody: Smile you son of a BITCH!

[last lines]
Brody: I used to hate the water.
Hooper: I can't imagine why.

Mayor Vaughn: We have caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers.

[On the gear Hooper brings aboard]
Quint: What are ya, some kind of half-assed astronaut?

Quint: Front, bow. Back, stern. If ya don't get it right, squirt, I throw your ass out the little round window on the side!

Hooper: You were on the Indianapolis?
Brody: What happened?
Quint: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian Delailie, we'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the squares in the old calendars like the Battle o' Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, Reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. Three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the twenty-ninth, nineteen-forty five. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

Ellen Brody: Martin hated the water. He won't go in the water and he sits in the car when we go on the farrey to the mainland! There's a clinical name for what he has, I think it's -
Brody: Drowning.

Hooper: Fast fish!

Brody: That's a bad hat, Harry.

Quint: Hooper ya idiot! Starboard! Aint you watchin' it?

Pratt: I'll stuff your friggin' head in there, man, and find out whether or not it's a man-eater!

Mayor Vaughn: Any special questions?
Denherder: Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check?
[The townspeople laugh]
Mrs. Taft: I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry.

Hooper: Ah! Just like I thought... He came up with the Gulf Stream - from southern waters.
[He pulls a Louisiana license plate from the shark. Brody examines it]
Brody: He didn't eat a car, did he?

Brody: What are you doing? These are your people out there!
Hendricks: Those aren't my people! Did you see all the license plates out in the parking lot? Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey... I'm all by myself out there!

Quint: [Poking fun at Brody] Ah, the missus, Chief! If they don't like you going out, they'll love you comin' in!

[As Brody sends the air tanks flying]
Hooper: Dammit, Martin!
Brody: Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that?
Hooper: You pulled the wrong one! If you screw around with these tanks, they're going to blow up.
Quint: Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. Hey, Chiefy! Next time you just ask me which knot to pull, all right?

Brody: Take this stuff back to the office and get to work on those signs. "Beaches Closed - No Swimming. By the Order of the Amity PD". And let Polly do the printing.
Hendricks: Those What's the matter with my printing?

Mayor Vaughn: I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. Now, if the people can't swim here, they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, Long Island...
Brody: That doesn't mean we have to serve them up a smorgasbord!

Hendricks: So then Denherder and Charlie sat there trying to catch their breath - and to figure out how to tell Charlie's wife what happened to her freezer full of meat!
Brody: That's not funny! That's not funny at all!

Quint: [On radio] Your husband's fine, Mrs. Brody. He's fishing. He's just caught a couple of stripers. We'll bring 'em in for dinner. We won't be long, we haven't seen anything yet. Over and out!

Brody: [Drunk] I tell ya, the crime rate in New York'll kill you! There's so many problems, you never feel like you're accomplishing anything. Violence, rip-offs, muggings... Kids can't leave the house - you've gotta walk them to school! But in Amity one man can make a difference! Do you know, in twenty-five years, there's never been a shooting or a murder in this town.
Hooper: Fascinating. Want a pretzel?
Brody: Where are we?

Brody: Yeah, but I'm not drunk enough to go out on a boat!
Hooper: Yes, you are.
Brody: No, I'm not!
Hooper: Yes, you are!
Brody: I can't do that!
Hooper: Yes, you can!

Ellen Brody: Wanna get drunk and fool around?
Brody: Oh Yeah!




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - J Jaws Hooper: I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch. Quint: Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycocks. This shark, swallow you whole. No shakin', no tenderizin', down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis. But it's not gonna be pleasant! I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I'll find him for three, but I'll catch him, and kill him, for ten. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing. Mayor Vaughn: Fellows, let's be reasonable, huh? This is not the time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish... And I'm not going to stand here and see that thing cut open and see that little Kintner boy spill out all over the dock! Quint: [singing] Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies / Farewell and adieu you ladies of Spain. / For we received orders for to sail back to Boston / And soon never more will we see you again. Mayor Vaughn: Martin, it's all psychological. You yell barracuda, everybody says, "Huh? What?" You yell shark, we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July. Quint: You go in the cage, cage goes in the water, you go in the water. Shark's in the water, our shark! Hooper: That's a twenty footer! Quint: Twenty-five. Three tons of him. Brody: I can do anything, I'm the chief of police. Hooper: This was no boat accident! Quint: You've got city boy hands, Hooper. You been countin' money all your life. Hooper: I don't need this working-class-hero crap. [After seeing the shark for the first time] Brody: [to Quint] We're gonna need a bigger boat. Brody: It's only an island if you look at it from the water. Ellen Brody: [upon meeting Matt Hooper] My husband tells me you're in sharks. Mayor Vaughn: I don't think either of you are familiar with our problems. Hooper: I am familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you on the ass! Hooper: Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er... an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all. Quint: Here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women. Quint: Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her viginity; not a bad record for this vicinity. Quint: I know a taxidermy man back home. He gonna have a heart attack when he see what I brung him! Brody: "Slow ahead." I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this shit. Quint: The thing about a shark, it's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When it comes at you it doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white. Brody: Smile you son of a BITCH! [last lines] Brody: I used to hate the water. Hooper: I can't imagine why. Mayor Vaughn: We have caught and killed a large predator that supposedly injured some bathers. [On the gear Hooper brings aboard] Quint: What are ya, some kind of half-assed astronaut? Quint: Front, bow. Back, stern. If ya don't get it right, squirt, I throw your ass out the little round window on the side! Hooper: You were on the Indianapolis? Brody: What happened? Quint: Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian Delailie, we'd just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that in the water, Chief? You can tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the squares in the old calendars like the Battle o' Waterloo and the idea was the shark come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and sometimes that shark he go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I do know how many men, they averaged six an hour. Thursday mornin', Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, Reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water, he was like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day a Lockheed Ventura swung in low and he spotted us, a young pilot, lot younger than Mr. Hooper here, anyway he spotted us and a few hours later a big ol' fat PBY come down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. Three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the twenty-ninth, nineteen-forty five. Anyway, we delivered the bomb. Ellen Brody: Martin hated the water. He won't go in the water and he sits in the car when we go on the farrey to the mainland! There's a clinical name for what he has, I think it's - Brody: Drowning. Hooper: Fast fish! Brody: That's a bad hat, Harry. Quint: Hooper ya idiot! Starboard! Aint you watchin' it? Pratt: I'll stuff your friggin' head in there, man, and find out whether or not it's a man-eater! Mayor Vaughn: Any special questions? Denherder: Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check? [The townspeople laugh] Mrs. Taft: I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry. Hooper: Ah! Just like I thought... He came up with the Gulf Stream - from southern waters. [He pulls a Louisiana license plate from the shark. Brody examines it] Brody: He didn't eat a car, did he? Brody: What are you doing? These are your people out there! Hendricks: Those aren't my people! Did you see all the license plates out in the parking lot? Connecticut, Rhode Island, New Jersey... I'm all by myself out there! Quint: [Poking fun at Brody] Ah, the missus, Chief! If they don't like you going out, they'll love you comin' in! [As Brody sends the air tanks flying] Hooper: Dammit, Martin! Brody: Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that? Hooper: You pulled the wrong one! If you screw around with these tanks, they're going to blow up. Quint: Yeah, that's real fine expensive gear you brought out here, Mr. Hooper. Hey, Chiefy! Next time you just ask me which knot to pull, all right? Brody: Take this stuff back to the office and get to work on those signs. "Beaches Closed - No Swimming. By the Order of the Amity PD". And let Polly do the printing. Hendricks: Those What's the matter with my printing? Mayor Vaughn: I'm only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. Now, if the people can't swim here, they'll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, the Hamptons, Long Island... Brody: That doesn't mean we have to serve them up a smorgasbord! Hendricks: So then Denherder and Charlie sat there trying to catch their breath - and to figure out how to tell Charlie's wife what happened to her freezer full of meat! Brody: That's not funny! That's not funny at all! Quint: [On radio] Your husband's fine, Mrs. Brody. He's fishing. He's just caught a couple of stripers. We'll bring 'em in for dinner. We won't be long, we haven't seen anything yet. Over and out! Brody: [Drunk] I tell ya, the crime rate in New York'll kill you! There's so many problems, you never feel like you're accomplishing anything. Violence, rip-offs, muggings... Kids can't leave the house - you've gotta walk them to school! But in Amity one man can make a difference! Do you know, in twenty-five years, there's never been a shooting or a murder in this town. Hooper: Fascinating. Want a pretzel? Brody: Where are we? Brody: Yeah, but I'm not drunk enough to go out on a boat! Hooper: Yes, you are. Brody: No, I'm not! Hooper: Yes, you are! Brody: I can't do that! Hooper: Yes, you can! Ellen Brody: Wanna get drunk and fool around? Brody: Oh Yeah!