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Long Kiss Goodnight, The

Samantha: What happened back there?
Mitch: I saved your ass. It was great!

Mitch: The last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

[Holding a knife to the neck of a woman's child]
Timothy: You're about to have 2.4 children.

[Samantha notices the gun in Mitch's pocket]
Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see!
Mitch Henessey: Do ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off?
Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter?

Charlie: You're gonna die screaming.

Caitlin, Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die?
Charlie: Oh, no, baby, no. You're not going to die. They are. Cover your ears. Hey, should we get a dog?

Mitch: So, you cold?
Charlie: Yeah, freezing.
Mitch: Well turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise that distracts from the cold.

Charlie: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.
Mitch: Well why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.

Charlie: I let you touch me, cowboy. I think I need a bath.

Charlie: You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom.

Charlie: Life is pain. Get used to it!

Hal: I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't swear. Oh shit! I DO smoke and drink!

Mitch Henessey: You know, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come runnin' up. What up with that?

Charlie: They're gonna blow my head off, you know. This is the last time I'll ever be pretty.

Mitch Henessey: I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.

Thug: Good evening lady. How about some company?
Charlie: No thanks, I'm saving myself 'til I get raped.

Samantha Caine: What are you, a Mormon?
Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a packet of Newports and drank three vodka tonics.

Nathan: Alice, please? Your dog, Alice -- it and my appetite are mutually exclusive.
Alice: Well, what's wrong with the dog?
Nathan: Simple: he's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention and I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge, is either gone for good... or there to stay.

Charlie: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?
Mitch Henessey: I took lessons.

Charlie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.

Charlie: Oh honey, only four inches?
Timothy: You'll feel me.

Mitch Henessey: Everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption.

Mitch Henessey: We jumped out of a building!
Nathan: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo.

Mitch Henessey: I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest.

Charlie: Easy, sport. I got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey.
Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.

Charlie: Chefs do that.

Charlie: Die screaming motherfucker!

Mitch Henessey: You foxy bitch.

Charlie: Suck my dick, every one of you bastards.

Charlie: Goddamn it. You're early. So Perkins wants me dead, huh? What's the rush? Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight? Shoo!
Thug: Hey, lady, this is a real big fucking gun!
Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye pal!
Charlie: What the hell are you doing?
Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner but i was thinkin' up that 'Ham on rye' line

Mitch Henessey: How did you find us?
Nathan: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but one of them is not that you will be missed by NASA. I saw it in your notebook between the address to a topless bar, and a picture of what appears to be a man's penis.
Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.

Samantha: It's like I'm in goddamn prison! Do you know what that's like?
Mitch Henessey: "Yeah, I know exactly what that's like! Four years inside, Marion Illinois. A real shithole. And I'm not going back!"

Luke (A.K.A. Daedalus): A woman's face never looks more beautiful, than when it is distended in pain. Witness the beauty of childbirth

[Charly jumps over a fence with a rifle and finds a boy smoking]
Charlie: Good morning Raymond.
Raymond: Good morning Miss Caine.
Charlie: What have we learnt about the dangers of smoking? Give it here..
[Charlie takes the cigarette and smokes it]
Charlie: Thanks, tell anyone you saw me.. I'll blow your fucking head off.




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - L Long Kiss Goodnight, The Samantha: What happened back there? Mitch: I saved your ass. It was great! Mitch: The last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel. [Holding a knife to the neck of a woman's child] Timothy: You're about to have 2.4 children. [Samantha notices the gun in Mitch's pocket] Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge, people can see! Mitch Henessey: Do ya want me to stick it in my pants and shoot my damn dick off? Samantha Caine: Now you're a sharpshooter? Charlie: You're gonna die screaming. Caitlin, Caine: Mommy, am I gonna die? Charlie: Oh, no, baby, no. You're not going to die. They are. Cover your ears. Hey, should we get a dog? Mitch: So, you cold? Charlie: Yeah, freezing. Mitch: Well turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise that distracts from the cold. Charlie: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it. Mitch: Well why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass. Charlie: I let you touch me, cowboy. I think I need a bath. Charlie: You couldn't hit a lake if you were standing on the bottom. Charlie: Life is pain. Get used to it! Hal: I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't swear. Oh shit! I DO smoke and drink! Mitch Henessey: You know, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come runnin' up. What up with that? Charlie: They're gonna blow my head off, you know. This is the last time I'll ever be pretty. Mitch Henessey: I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill. Thug: Good evening lady. How about some company? Charlie: No thanks, I'm saving myself 'til I get raped. Samantha Caine: What are you, a Mormon? Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon. That's why I just smoked a packet of Newports and drank three vodka tonics. Nathan: Alice, please? Your dog, Alice -- it and my appetite are mutually exclusive. Alice: Well, what's wrong with the dog? Nathan: Simple: he's been licking his asshole for the last three straight hours. I submit to you that there is nothing there worth more than an hour's attention and I should think that whatever he is attempting to dislodge, is either gone for good... or there to stay. Charlie: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons? Mitch Henessey: I took lessons. Charlie: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt. Charlie: Oh honey, only four inches? Timothy: You'll feel me. Mitch Henessey: Everyone knows, when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of u and mption. Mitch Henessey: We jumped out of a building! Nathan: Yes, it was very exciting. Tomorrow we go to the zoo. Mitch Henessey: I'm always frank and earnest with women. Uh, in New York I'm Frank, and Chicago I'm Ernest. Charlie: Easy, sport. I got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey. Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact. Charlie: Chefs do that. Charlie: Die screaming motherfucker! Mitch Henessey: You foxy bitch. Charlie: Suck my dick, every one of you bastards. Charlie: Goddamn it. You're early. So Perkins wants me dead, huh? What's the rush? Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight? Shoo! Thug: Hey, lady, this is a real big fucking gun! Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye pal! Charlie: What the hell are you doing? Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner but i was thinkin' up that 'Ham on rye' line Mitch Henessey: How did you find us? Nathan: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but one of them is not that you will be missed by NASA. I saw it in your notebook between the address to a topless bar, and a picture of what appears to be a man's penis. Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick. Samantha: It's like I'm in goddamn prison! Do you know what that's like? Mitch Henessey: "Yeah, I know exactly what that's like! Four years inside, Marion Illinois. A real shithole. And I'm not going back!" Luke (A.K.A. Daedalus): A woman's face never looks more beautiful, than when it is distended in pain. Witness the beauty of childbirth [Charly jumps over a fence with a rifle and finds a boy smoking] Charlie: Good morning Raymond. Raymond: Good morning Miss Caine. Charlie: What have we learnt about the dangers of smoking? Give it here.. [Charlie takes the cigarette and smokes it] Charlie: Thanks, tell anyone you saw me.. I'll blow your fucking head off.