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Look Who's Talking

[The moment he's born.]
Mikey: Put me back in! Put me back in!

Mollie: I'm a very understanding person, Albert. I understand that you are going through a selfish phase. And, I'm sure that you will understand that I am going through a destructive phase.

Mollie: I was artificially inseminated.
James Ubriacco: Are you a lesbo?

James Ubriacco: Okay, if you're the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. What's Mikey's favorite cereal?
Albert: I don't know.
James Ubriacco: Cheerios. How many diapers does he go through a day? About six. Who's his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson. Don't you think a father should know some of these things?
Albert: Okay how much is she paying you? 5 dollars an hour?
[Gives James a 20]
Albert: Here go play some video games.
James: Don't give me that shit.
[They start fighting]

James: Mind if I borrow some of this? (takes Mikey's bottle and pours the milk into his coffe cup) Thank a lot, man. (drinks coffee)
Mollie: Hey, you know, that's breast milk.
James: (spits out coffee) Really, now? (turns to Mikey) Why didn't you tell me?
Mikey: Hey, man, you're on your own.

Mollie: I look like a Russ Meyer movie!

James Ubriacco: Whoa! You really got your figure back, didn't you?!
Mollie: This is not my figure!
James Ubriacco: Well then, you got Dolly Parton's figure back!

James Ubriacco: You don't look so hot.
Mollie: Why don't you try squeazing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot YOU look?!
James: Ouch! Guess I'd better call my mother more often!

James: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Mikey: Yeah. Lunch!

Mollie: Don't touch me! I'm going to have this baby without you touching me!

Albert: I know this may be hard to understand, but I'm going through a selfish phase right now.
Mollie: A selfish phase?!
Albert: I admit the timing is bad.

Albert: He has my eyes.
Mollie: I know he does. You don't know how confusing it is when someone you love so much looks like someone you hate.

Mollie: That's it! You have some exotic baby disease, and I look like I could play the lead in "Night of the Living Dead", and your father deserted us so that he could play with his interior decorator. I think you can safely say that it can't get any worse.
Rosie: Hello-o.
Mollie: I was wrong.

Rosie: What???
Mollie: Ma, I thought you'd be happy.
Rosie: How could you do such a thing?
Mollie: It was easy. I went to the clinic and got some frozen sperm. I brought it home, defrosted it, inserted it, and...and I'm pregnant.
Rosie: So that's it? Now you and the frozen pop are having a baby.
Mollie: Ma, it's not a frozen pop.
Rosie: It's not a husband. (Looks at her husband). Louie, you hear this?
Mollie: Ma, you were the one who told me that I could control my life, and I made a decision. I want to have a baby.
Rosie: I don't understand this. This is the kind of thing a girl does if she's very ugly or a lesbian. This is not the act of a beautiful, intellegent girl who can have any man she wants.
Mollie: Ma, you never liked any of my boyfriends anyway.
Rosie: Where did the sperm come from? I mean, who's the supplier?
Mollie: A medical student.
Rosie: And?
Mollie: He goes to Colombia. His parents live on the island. His fahter's in piece goods, his mother works for a cosmetics firm. Ma, she'd get you a great discount.
Rosie: So you're making fun of me, huh? You'll see. Someday, you'll have children.

Mollie: Where are the parachutes?
James: Parachutes? There are no parachutes.
Mollie: No parachutes? Didn't you ever see 'Sweet Dreams'? 'The Buddy Holly Story'? 'La Bamba'?
James: There's a big difference. They're, like, rock legends, and we're not.

Mollie: I'm sorry that I made you wear that stupid outfit, and I'm sorry that you had to meet that MEAN MAN. You'll never have to see him again. You know what I don't get? Every time I take you somewhere, everyone says how cute you are, and how crazy they are about you?
Mikey: Naturally.
Mollie: Then, the one person who has the genetic bondage treats you like a jerk. Here, let me dry it now. Everyone loves you. All the kids at the playground love you, Ma loves you, Rona loves you, everybody at work loves you, James loves you...Mikey, do you love James?
[Mikey picks up a toy telephone]
Mikey: Give him a call.
Mollie: What, honey? You want to play telephone?
Mikey: Call him.

[immediately after being born]
Mikey: This has got to be the weirdest day of my life.....well, so far.

Mollie: So you're the one who was kicking me.
Mikey: Well, you're the one who ate all that spicey food.




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - L Look Who's Talking [The moment he's born.] Mikey: Put me back in! Put me back in! Mollie: I'm a very understanding person, Albert. I understand that you are going through a selfish phase. And, I'm sure that you will understand that I am going through a destructive phase. Mollie: I was artificially inseminated. James Ubriacco: Are you a lesbo? James Ubriacco: Okay, if you're the father then maybe you can answer me these questions. What's Mikey's favorite cereal? Albert: I don't know. James Ubriacco: Cheerios. How many diapers does he go through a day? About six. Who's his favorite rock star? Michael Jackson. Don't you think a father should know some of these things? Albert: Okay how much is she paying you? 5 dollars an hour? [Gives James a 20] Albert: Here go play some video games. James: Don't give me that shit. [They start fighting] James: Mind if I borrow some of this? (takes Mikey's bottle and pours the milk into his coffe cup) Thank a lot, man. (drinks coffee) Mollie: Hey, you know, that's breast milk. James: (spits out coffee) Really, now? (turns to Mikey) Why didn't you tell me? Mikey: Hey, man, you're on your own. Mollie: I look like a Russ Meyer movie! James Ubriacco: Whoa! You really got your figure back, didn't you?! Mollie: This is not my figure! James Ubriacco: Well then, you got Dolly Parton's figure back! James Ubriacco: You don't look so hot. Mollie: Why don't you try squeazing something the size of a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon and see how hot YOU look?! James: Ouch! Guess I'd better call my mother more often! James: Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Mikey: Yeah. Lunch! Mollie: Don't touch me! I'm going to have this baby without you touching me! Albert: I know this may be hard to understand, but I'm going through a selfish phase right now. Mollie: A selfish phase?! Albert: I admit the timing is bad. Albert: He has my eyes. Mollie: I know he does. You don't know how confusing it is when someone you love so much looks like someone you hate. Mollie: That's it! You have some exotic baby disease, and I look like I could play the lead in "Night of the Living Dead", and your father deserted us so that he could play with his interior decorator. I think you can safely say that it can't get any worse. Rosie: Hello-o. Mollie: I was wrong. Rosie: What??? Mollie: Ma, I thought you'd be happy. Rosie: How could you do such a thing? Mollie: It was easy. I went to the clinic and got some frozen sperm. I brought it home, defrosted it, inserted it, and...and I'm pregnant. Rosie: So that's it? Now you and the frozen pop are having a baby. Mollie: Ma, it's not a frozen pop. Rosie: It's not a husband. (Looks at her husband). Louie, you hear this? Mollie: Ma, you were the one who told me that I could control my life, and I made a decision. I want to have a baby. Rosie: I don't understand this. This is the kind of thing a girl does if she's very ugly or a lesbian. This is not the act of a beautiful, intellegent girl who can have any man she wants. Mollie: Ma, you never liked any of my boyfriends anyway. Rosie: Where did the sperm come from? I mean, who's the supplier? Mollie: A medical student. Rosie: And? Mollie: He goes to Colombia. His parents live on the island. His fahter's in piece goods, his mother works for a cosmetics firm. Ma, she'd get you a great discount. Rosie: So you're making fun of me, huh? You'll see. Someday, you'll have children. Mollie: Where are the parachutes? James: Parachutes? There are no parachutes. Mollie: No parachutes? Didn't you ever see 'Sweet Dreams'? 'The Buddy Holly Story'? 'La Bamba'? James: There's a big difference. They're, like, rock legends, and we're not. Mollie: I'm sorry that I made you wear that stupid outfit, and I'm sorry that you had to meet that MEAN MAN. You'll never have to see him again. You know what I don't get? Every time I take you somewhere, everyone says how cute you are, and how crazy they are about you? Mikey: Naturally. Mollie: Then, the one person who has the genetic bondage treats you like a jerk. Here, let me dry it now. Everyone loves you. All the kids at the playground love you, Ma loves you, Rona loves you, everybody at work loves you, James loves you...Mikey, do you love James? [Mikey picks up a toy telephone] Mikey: Give him a call. Mollie: What, honey? You want to play telephone? Mikey: Call him. [immediately after being born] Mikey: This has got to be the weirdest day of my life.....well, so far. Mollie: So you're the one who was kicking me. Mikey: Well, you're the one who ate all that spicey food.