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Monsters Inc.

Mike: Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original! He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye!!

Sulley: Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb?

Sulley: Oh. So *that's* puce.

Flint: And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because...
Bile: Uh... it could let in a draft?
Henry J. Waternoose: [Storming in] It could let in a child!

Roz: Guess what? This office is now closed!

Mike: Roz, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut?

Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world.
Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me!

Henry J. Waternoose: Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor!
Mike: Uh... hello.

Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car.
Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.

Yeti: Now take Bigfoot for example. When he was banished he made a hat out of Poison Ivy. Wore it like a tiara. Called himself "King Itchy".

Boo: Kitty!

Boo: Mike Waszowski!

Boo: Lookit!

Roz: [to Michael "Mike" Wazowski] I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching.

Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin?
Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "cretin." If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. And second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top!
Randall: [Chuckles evilly.] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?
Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here.

Mike: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!

Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door.
Mike: Boo? What's Boo?
Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem?
Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me--
[Mike pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor.]
Mike: Oh, hey! We're rehearsing a-- a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical.
[singing]
Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut! We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers.

Randall: That means the scare floor will be....
Mike: .........Painted?
Randall: EMPTY!!

[Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer.]
Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees-- which is good news for you reptiles-- and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED! Get up, Sulley!
[Mike honks a horn right in Sulley's face.]
Sulley: Ahhhhh!

[Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo.]
Mike: I can't believe it...
Sulley: Oh, Mike...
Mike: I was on TV! Ha! Did you see me? I'm a natural!

Sulley: See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work.
Mike: Big deal. Guy takes five steps, and he's there.

Mike: Oh, Schmoosie-poo?
Celia: Googley Bear!

[Mike complains to Sulley about Randall.]
Mike: One of these days I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson.

Mike: Can I borrow your odorant?
Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster.
Mike: You got, uh, low tide?
Sulley: No.
Mike: How about wet dog?
Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.

Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?
Mike: Well, as a matter of fact--
Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once.
[Mike smiles innocently.]
Roz: Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays-- well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever.
[Mike stares lovingly at her.]
Celia: What are you looking at?
Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.
Celia: [shyly] Stop it!
Mike: Your hair was shorter then.
Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.
[The snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear.]
Mike: No-no, I like it this length.
[The snakes sigh in relief.]
Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?
Celia: What did you say?
Mike: I said...
[Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia.]
Mike: Sulley?!
Celia: Sulley?

Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous.
Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me!

[Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose.]
Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from?
Sulley: Mr. Waternoose!
Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James! Is this one yours?
Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir.
Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day".
Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo.

Babysitter: Well, hello there! What's your name?
Boo: Mike Wazowski!

Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder!

[Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture]
Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you?
[Opens closet and walks inside]
Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty.

Sulley: Mike, that's not her door.
Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door.
Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it.
Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door.
[Mike opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room]
Mike: (to Boo) You hear that? Sounds like fun in there! Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane.
Boo: Mowki Kowski.
Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya.
[Mike waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog]
Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick?
[Mike throws the stick through the door]
Mike: Got get the stick! Go fetch.

Yeti: Milking a yak is no picnic, but once you pick out all the hairs it's very nutritious.

Mike: Sulley, what are we doing?!
Sulley: We have to get Boo's door and find a station!
Mike: What a plan! Simple, yet insane!

Charlie: 2319! We have a 2319!

Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
Sulley: Spoons?
Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek!

Henry J. Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!
[Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo. He instead finds the simulated child]
Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated.
Henry J. Waternoose: [confused] Huh? What?
[The lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room]
Henry J. Waternoose: [Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console]
Mike: I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes.

Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win.
Randall: I plan to.

Mike: Follow the sultry sound of my voice

Sulley: Are there kids in that village?
Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...




	Home Jokes Film Quotes Boss Alert News Forum Links		Back to - Film Quotes - M Monsters Inc. Mike: Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original! He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye!! Sulley: Hey, did you lose weight, or a limb? Sulley: Oh. So that's puce. Flint: And leaving the door open is the worst mistake that any employee could make, because... Bile: Uh... it could let in a draft? Henry J. Waternoose: [Storming in] It could let in a child! Roz: Guess what? This office is now closed! Mike: Roz, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Henry J. Waternoose: There's nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. Leave a door open, and one can walk right into this factory; right into the monster world. Trainee: I won't go into a kid's room. You can't make me! Henry J. Waternoose: Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to. Randall: Say hello to the Scream Extractor! Mike: Uh... hello. Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car. Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot. Yeti: Now take Bigfoot for example. When he was banished he made a hat out of Poison Ivy. Wore it like a tiara. Called himself "King Itchy". Boo: Kitty! Boo: Mike Waszowski! Boo: Lookit! Roz: [to Michael "Mike" Wazowski] I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin? Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "cretin." If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. And second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top! Randall: [Chuckles evilly.] You still think this is about that stupid scare record? Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that... And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here. Mike: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me! Sulley: Mike, this isn't Boo's door. Mike: Boo? What's Boo? Sulley: That's... what I decided to call her. Is there a problem? Mike: Sulley, you're not supposed to name it. Once you name it, you start getting attached to it. Now put that thing back where it came from or so help me-- [Mike pauses, realizing that they suddenly have the attention of the entire scare floor.] Mike: Oh, hey! We're rehearsing a-- a scene for the upcoming company play called uh, Put That Thing Back Where It Came From Or So Help Me. It's a musical. [singing] Mike: Put that thing back where it came from or so help me... so help me, so help me and cut! We're still working on it, it's a work in progress but, hey, we need ushers. Randall: That means the scare floor will be.... Mike: .........Painted? Randall: EMPTY!! [Sulley's alarm clock clicks, and Mike impersonates the radio announcer.] Mike: Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees-- which is good news for you reptiles-- and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED! Get up, Sulley! [Mike honks a horn right in Sulley's face.] Sulley: Ahhhhh! [Mike and Sulley watch a commercial featuring them, but Mike is covered over by the Monsters Inc. logo.] Mike: I can't believe it... Sulley: Oh, Mike... Mike: I was on TV! Ha! Did you see me? I'm a natural! Sulley: See that, Mikey? Ted's walking to work. Mike: Big deal. Guy takes five steps, and he's there. Mike: Oh, Schmoosie-poo? Celia: Googley Bear! [Mike complains to Sulley about Randall.] Mike: One of these days I am really... going to let you teach that guy a lesson. Mike: Can I borrow your odorant? Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster. Mike: You got, uh, low tide? Sulley: No. Mike: How about wet dog? Sulley: Yep. Stink it up. Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight? Mike: Well, as a matter of fact-- Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once. [Mike smiles innocently.] Roz: Your stunned silence is very reassuring. Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays-- well, not a lot of birthdays but this is the best birthday ever. [Mike stares lovingly at her.] Celia: What are you looking at? Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked. Celia: [shyly] Stop it! Mike: Your hair was shorter then. Celia: Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut. [The snakes in Celia's hair squeal with fear.] Mike: No-no, I like it this length. [The snakes sigh in relief.] Mike: I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said? Celia: What did you say? Mike: I said... [Just then, Sulley's face appears in the window behind Celia.] Mike: Sulley?! Celia: Sulley? Sulley: Hey, Mike, this might sound crazy but I don't think that kid's dangerous. Mike: Really? Well, in that case, let's keep it. I always wanted a pet that could kill me! [Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose.] Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from? Sulley: Mr. Waternoose! Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James! Is this one yours? Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir. Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day". Henry J. Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo. Babysitter: Well, hello there! What's your name? Boo: Mike Wazowski! Randall: If I don't see a door in my station in 5 seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder! [Boo, scared of the closet, shows Sully a picture] Sulley: Hey, that looks like Randall. Randall's your monster. You think he's gonna come out of the closet and scare you? [Opens closet and walks inside] Sulley: Look, it's empty. No monster in here. Okay, NOW there is. I'm not gonna scare you. I'm off duty. Sulley: Mike, that's not her door. Mike: What are you talking about? Of course it's her door. It's her door. Sulley: No. Her door was white and it had flowers on it. Mike: No. It must've dark last night because this is its door. [Mike opens the door. A bright light and polka music emanate from the room] Mike: (to Boo) You hear that? Sounds like fun in there! Well, see ya kid. Send me a postcard. That's Mike Wazowski, care of 22 Mike Wazowsi-You-Got-Your-Life-Back-Lane. Boo: Mowki Kowski. Mike: Very good. Now bon voyage. See ya. [Mike waves a stick in front of Boo as if she were a dog] Mike: Look at the stick. See the stick? [Mike throws the stick through the door] Mike: Got get the stick! Go fetch. Yeti: Milking a yak is no picnic, but once you pick out all the hairs it's very nutritious. Mike: Sulley, what are we doing?! Sulley: We have to get Boo's door and find a station! Mike: What a plan! Simple, yet insane! Charlie: 2319! We have a 2319! Mike: I think I have a plan here: using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild. Sulley: Spoons? Mike: That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot air balloon? Too expensive. Giant slingshot? Too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse? Too Greek! Henry J. Waternoose: I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way! [Waternoose knocks Sulley to the ground and lunges at Boo. He instead finds the simulated child] Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated. Henry J. Waternoose: [confused] Huh? What? [The lights come on and it's revealed that Boo's room is really the simulation room] Henry J. Waternoose: [Mike and several CDA agents are standing behind the console] Mike: I don't know about you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. Sulley: Hey... may the best monster win. Randall: I plan to. Mike: Follow the sultry sound of my voice Sulley: Are there kids in that village? Yeti: Oh, sure. Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks...