Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American
University grade their final exams:

DEPT OF STATISTICS:
- All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.

DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
- Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close
them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and
assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

DEPT OF HISTORY:
- All students get the same grade they got last year.

DEPT OF RELEGION:
- Grade is determined by God.

DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
- What is a grade?

LAW SCHOOL:
- Students are asked to defend their position of why they
should receive an A.

DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
- Grades are variable.

DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
- If and only if the student is present for the final and
the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student
will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.

MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
- Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the
instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp
and flat respectively).

DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
- Everybody gets an A.