As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and
exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead
Elvis! How have you been?" Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me
face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis."

The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and
he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and
step on it." The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God!
It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so
great to see you!" "Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn
around and drive!"

So, the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things
and walks up to the hotel check-in counter. "Oh my God! Oh my God!
It's you!" screams the hotel clerk. "You're back Elvis! I knew this
day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free
cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs,
complementary hookers and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!"

Father O'Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, "Thank you... Thank
you very much!"